Translation Version 1.2
SHIN-KIMAGURE ORANGE ROAD
Capricious Orange Road

  A NOVEL BY MATSUMOTO IZUMI AND TERADA KENJI
  
  (C) 1994 I.MATSUMOTO K.TERADA
  PRINTED IN JAPAN
  
  PUBLISHED BY KABUSHIKI GAISHA SHUEISHA
  TOKYO-TO CHIYODA-KU
  HITOTSU-BASHI 2-5-10 JAPAN 101-50
  
  TRANSLATION BY PETER PAYNE
  C/O YANAI SHOTEN 4235 HASHIE-CHO
  ISESAKI-SHI JAPAN 372
  
  TRANSLATOR'S NOTES
  
   _SHIN KIMAGURE ORANGE ROAD_ is a novel by the original creator of
   Orange Road, Matsumoto Izumi, and Kenji Terada, a novelist and
   screenplay writer who has written scenarios for games like "Final
   Fantasy" and others. It details the lives of the Orange Road
   characters three years after the end of the Orange Road Movie. To
   Orange Road fans, it is a very important document. When I finally
   tracked down a copy of the book, in a rural book store in Isesaki,
   Japan (incidentally the birthplace of Adachi Mitsuru, an artist of
   _Touch_, _H2 _and many other mangas), I knew I had to translate it for
   the enjoyment of American fans of the series.
   
   Note: I am a spoiled Mac user and unused to the inconvenience of
   "vanilla ASCII," but I am told we live in a PC-dominated world, and
   this is the standard. Would everyone please buy Macs so we can move
   technology forward a little? The novel has 15 or so black and white
   illustrations and one color one, all of which will be posted in JPEG
   format. Please enjoy.
   
   Legal stuff: This is an unofficial translation done without the prior
   knowledge or consent of the authors or publishers of the original
   work. It was not done for the purpose of profit or intention of
   denying it to the authors or publishers. Rather, it was made to
   enlighten fans of Orange Road who aren't lucky enough to read
   Japanese. I did the translation partially as a way of saying "thank
   you" to Matsumoto-sensei for all the Japanese I have learned from the
   Orange Road manga and series over the years, and to try to give back
   something to anime fandom in the English-speaking world.
   
   For purposes of future corrections, etc., this is _translation version
   1.1_. I have done my best to check the text for typing errors, omitted
   words, and so on, but some will no doubt remain in the text. I invite
   anyone with an interest to inform me of errors so that they can be
   corrected in the future. If anyone is competent at programming with
   Hypercard and would like to make an EB of this file, please contact
   me. If anyone is good at gaming and would like to turn the Orange Road
   RPG into a real gaming system, please contact me.
   
   _Shin Kimagure Orange Road_ is a "postcard translation"--if you read
   it, send a postcard of wherever you are from to me, Peter R. Payne.
   
   I am an "English" "teacher" who "teaches" at a private "school" in
   Gunma- prefecture, Japan, in the exact center of Japan's main island
   of Honshu. I have resided in Japan since October, 1991. I am one of
   the founders of "SEISHUN SHITEMASU: a bunch of guys with a VCR," a
   group from San Diego, California making fan re-dubs of Japanese
   animation into English. (Our name comes from Kyosuke's narration
   before the opening credits in episodes 1-15, and means "I'm living the
   springtime of my youth.") Our titles include "Robotech III: Not
   Necessarily the Sentinels," "Robotech IV: Khyron's Counterattack,"
   "Laputa II: The Sequel" and many others. Orange Road fans might get a
   kick out of one of our earlier productions, "Kimagure Orange Road: The
   Akira Story" (warning: you might hate it). These videos are available
   free. Mail videocassettes (regular or SVHS, no Goldstars, please) with
   SASE to Adam Chaney, P.O. Box 261702, San Diego, CA 92126, USA. For
   more information write Adam in the States or me in Japan at the
   address above.
   
   Finally, as you read the translation, I would like you to have some
   inkling of the scale of this project, how many hours I spent, sitting
   in Skylark and Denny's restaurants with my Powerbook with my shoes
   off, having Japanese people staring at me like I was the only gaijin
   they'd ever seen pecking away on his Powerbook (like maybe 75 to 100
   of them). I hope you read this translation and spread it around to
   other fans. Long live anime.
   
   Thank you.
   
   Peter R. Payne
   October 1994
   
PROLOGUE

   A freighter headed for some foreign country blows its whistle in the
   distance: two times, three times. Sitting on the handrail of the
   bridge, you stare at the lights out in the bay, not bothering to turn
   your head at the sound. I look at your silhouette and feel happy.
   Yokohama Bay Bridge...
   The wind blows off the surface of the water and carries a sweet smell
   to the tip of my nose. It passes through my whole body, until I feel
   like I'm going to pass out.
   It's always the same. That sweet scent that Madoka Ayukawa gives off.
   Like the particles of light that Tinkerbell uses to charm people with.
   Always the same, this whimsical angel, who pours the sweet smell into
   me. I breathe deeply, and let the smell enter me. Sometimes I get
   angry at myself for being such a pervert. But tonight it's okay.
   Ayukawa has promised me, tonight is "that" kind of night. "Stop it,
   Kasuga-kun."
   "Huh?" I said.
   "You've got something dirty on your mind don't you?" Ayukawa said.
   I got ruffled. "What are you talking about?"
   "I knew it." She pointed a slender forefinger at my nose. Her hair
   moved, sending the angel smell to me again. "I can tell whenever
   you're thinking about sex."
   "No, I wasn't--"
   "You're just a sex fiend!" she said, then laughed.
   She's really been laughing a lot tonight, like someone full of too
   much life. The couples around us all turn and look at us like we're
   bothering them somehow. Ayukawa laughs even more loudly, this time on
   purpose. "Ayukawa, everyone's looking this way."
   "It's okay, let them look."
   She laughed again, but then made a serious face suddenly, grabbing my
   shirt collar and pulling me towards her.
   "Ayukawa."
   "Let's kiss, Kasuga-kun."
   My heart stopped for a moment.
   She said, "Don't be stupid. I'm nervous, too, being here, alone with
   you. This is all a new experience for me, too, you know."
   So, that's why Ayukawa's been acting strangely tonight--she's feeling
   giddy, too, just like me. She was acting the same way back in
   Chinatown, laughing and talking too much.
   "Ayukawa--" I put my arm around her shoulder, and pressed my lips
   against hers.
   
   We were in a bar on the top floor, that looks out on the Bay Bridge. A
   black man was playing jazz piano softly at the back of the room. We
   were the youngest of any of the patrons there, so whenever Ayukawa
   laughed, everyone glared at us.
   "Anyway, congratulations," Ayukawa said. "For the third time this
   evening, _kampai!_"
   We touched our glasses together.
   "You know, it is really incredible, Kasuga-kun. I think your father's
   talent as a photographer must have rubbed off on you."
   "It was just a coincidence."
   "No, you're wrong. Kelly Toyama wouldn't have chosen your work if it
   was just a coincidence."
   "Jeez, Kelly, Kelly, you've been talking about nothing else this
   evening."
   "Don't be jealous. He's a really popular fashion photographer. You've
   got a bright future ahead of you, but compared to him, you're just a
   newcomer."
   Then she laughed again. It must be the alcohol. Her cheeks were a
   little red. You see, tonight is our night of quiet celebration. I won
   first prize in a photo contest sponsored by our university (1). The
   judge was the famous fashion photographer and alumnus of my
   university, Kelly Toyama. I didn't know it before, but Ayukawa has
   been a big fan of his for a long time. Anyway, that's why we're at
   this hotel, celebrating. We've promised to stay out all night and
   greet the morning together.
   "What present would you like?" Ayukawa had said to me when I was
   chosen for the award.
   "Hm?" I had said.
   "Yeah, I'm going to give you a present, for winning the contest. You
   know, it hasn't been announced yet, but I'll bet whatever you get as
   first prize will be something valuable."
   "You think so?"
   She nodded eagerly. Her eyes were beautiful.
   I entered the same university as Ayukawa this spring, but for some
   reason, I hadn't been able to decide what I wanted to do there. I
   think Ayukawa had been a little worried about me.
   I looked into her eyes and said, "Let's see. From Ayukawa, I'd like to
   get..."
   "Yes?"
   When she spoke, I got my courage up a little.
   "From Ayukawa, I'd like something worth at least as much as whatever I
   get for winning first prize. Something very personal. Maybe even you."
   My courage left me at that point, and I just laughed nervously and
   shrugged. Now that we had the College Entrance Examination behind us,
   Ayukawa and I had gotten into the habit of kissing casually. But we
   haven't done _it_ yet. Ayukawa's parents are famous musicians, and
   they're always out of the country giving concerts. We've had plenty of
   chances to do it while they were away, but then there was the issue of
   betraying her parent's trust. We'd been good so far.
   I'm Kasuga Kyosuke, 19 years old. If I said I had no desire for sex,
   it would be a lie. I just haven't been able to get up the courage to
   coax her into it.
   Ayukawa seemed a little surprised by what I had just said. But when I
   smiled at her, she looked at me with those teasing eyes of hers.
   "Wow, that's great, Kasuga-kun. I admire your confidence."
   But I had been too bold, I knew, and now I was embarrassed.
   Still in her teasing voice, she said, "Keep on being bold like that,
   and you never know..." That was her way of saying yes.
   Now, back at the hotel bar, Ayukawa picked up the fresh glass that had
   been brought, and stood up. "Okay, here's my present to you, Part
   One."
   "Part One?"
   Ayukawa looked at me with tipsy eyes, and winked. She raised the
   glass, making a signal for another _kampai_, and said, "I've written a
   song for my brave, self-confident Kasuga-kun. The title is _Kyosuke
   #1_."
   She went over to the piano, put her glass on it, and whispered
   something to the black piano player. In a way that told me he had been
   consulted about this ahead of time, he finished his song with a quick
   ad lib and handed his seat over to Ayukawa. Ayukawa didn't look at me
   anymore.
   She swallowed the contents of her glass, and suddenly started to play.
   The song had a forceful opening that immediately went to work on your
   emotions. It went on to suggest a gentle, vast sea, before suddenly
   increasing in volume again.
   _Kyosuke #1_, the song was called. _Kyosuke #1_.
   I wasn't sure if this kind of violent, forceful song fit my
   personality. Unless it meant that, in Ayukawa's eyes, this is the
   Kyosuke she wants me to be. Or perhaps the song represents how she
   feels about me. Could it be such a intense thing? Whatever it means,
   what is about to happen tonight is somehow, somehow, so severe, so
   exciting, I can't stand to contemplate it.
   As I got more and more interested in Ayukawa's song, I realized my
   throat was dry. I swallowed the drink I had been sipping with one gulp
   and ordered another. I took the glass that the boy brought me. He was
   muttering something about the minimum age for alcohol and tobacco
   being 20 years old.
   How beautiful Ayukawa is, playing with so much passion. She was like a
   goddess, brilliant and beautiful but totally unapproachable. By the
   time Ayukawa's song reached its climax, my vision seemed covered with
   a bright light. For a moment, I lost consciousness.
   When I came back, I felt like a bird floating on the wind. I lifted up
   my hands, and wandered towards the swirls of light that were all
   around me. I couldn't hear any sound at all. Not _Kyosuke #1_, not the
   admiring voices of the people in the bar. All noise was gone.
   I continued to fall into that world of light.
   As I fell, I heard the sound of sea birds. Next I heard the fog horn
   of a ship. Then, a crashing sound. I was lying on top of something.
   There was no pain; on the contrary, it was a pleasant feeling.
   The light faded from my view. No, actually, another light came to me
   as the first light disappeared. It was the morning sun.
   White, white sheets. A sweet smell. I was sitting on a bed.
   At my fingertips was Ayukawa's long, black hair. She was still
   breathing deeply in sleep. Her long hair. Her milk-white cheek. I
   lifted up the sheet to see her body, naked as the day she was born,
   inhaling and exhaling innocently, like a child. Had we joined?
   Outside the window, a sea bird made a high-pitched cry. The angel
   sleeping by my side opened her eyes. She smiled a little shyly, then
   said:
   "Good morning."
   But just then, the phone beside the bed rang with a piercing sound.
   That's the beginning of this story.
   It was a man. He sounded upset.
   "Kyosuke! Watch out for cars!"
   "Cars?" I said. "Who the hell are you?"
   "I'm you! I'm Kyosuke Kasuga!"
   This brought me out of the dream I had been having and pulled me back
   into reality.
   
PART I

    "You're me? What the hell are you talking about?!"
   I sat up in bed. At that moment, Jingoro, who had been in bed with me,
   let out a cry.
   "Nevermind that, just listen! You have to be careful of cars!"
   "Don't try to jerk me around! What are you thinking, calling a person
   like this! Even pranks have a limit, you know!"
   My anger got control of me, and I slammed the receiver down.
   I had been experiencing a wonderful dream of spending the night with
   Ayukawa. When a dream like that is interrupted, even Kyosuke
   Kasuga--usually quieter than most people--is going to get angry.
   Shit! It was just getting interesting, too.
   Then: "Oniichan (2), I need to use the phone. Are you awake?" It was
   my sister Manami's voice.
   "I'm going to switch it back to the living room now. Do you mind?"
   After eleven p.m., the telephone is set so that it switches to my
   room. Ostensibly, the reason for this is so that emergency calls from
   our father, who is overseas on a photography assignment, can get
   through directly to me. But in reality, the reason is so that I can
   talk to Ayukawa late at night.
   "Go ahead," I answered angrily. "There might be a weird phone call,
   though."
   "What's wrong with you?"
   Manami's twin sister, Kurumi, opened the door and peered in.
   "You don't mean a perverted phone call so early in the morning, do
   you?" Kurumi said.
   I let slip without thinking: "No, no, a phone call that interrupted
   something perverted."
   "Oh, gross, Oniichan! What are you talking about with Madoka-san every
   night?" Manami said.
   "Manami-chan, Oniichan's talking about 'a' and 'fu' and 'u.'"
   Manami didn't know what Kurumi meant.
   "_A-fuhn ! (3) A-fuhn!_ And _touch me there_ and _oh_ and _not
   there!_"
   "_Baka!_"
   "Now that you mention it, Oniichan has been going through an awful lot
   of tissues recently."
   "Oh gross!" Manami said.
   I threw my pillow as hard as I could at the open door; Kurumi and
   Manami fled.
   "Jesus! Was I like that when I was in high school?"
   The damage was already done, so I got out of bed, picked up Jingoro,
   trying to escape off the Veranda, and headed into the bathroom. This
   slightly fat tortoise-shaped cat has tried to escape from our house
   time and time again--things like that really say something about my
   family.
   The bathroom also serves as Dad's darkroom. For the rest of the time
   he's overseas, I'll be developing the film he sends me. Back when he
   was working as a landscape photographer, he used a company to develop
   his pictures, but recently, he's been taken with a kind of
   do-it-yourself-ism, and has been trying to do the developing himself.
   I help him when he's away.
   It's up to the photographer, Dad often says, to capture the right
   moment. But sometimes, he says, when work is handed from one group to
   another it gets stolen. I'm not sure I agree with him on that subject.
   He also talks about how much he loves being a landscape photographer,
   but if so, I can't understand why he suddenly became so interested in
   social problems, and went with the PKO (4) to take pictures of refugee
   camps.
   I shouldn't criticize him. It's all thanks to Dad's hard work that
   we're able to eat everyday. I guess it was because of Dad's influence
   that I was able to win first prize in the photography contest.
   Which led to _Argh!_
   My winning first prize in the photo contest is the reason Ayukawa and
   I will be having our celebration next weekend, that's why we've got
   reservations in the hotel overlooking the Bay Bridge.
   I took off my pajamas and had a shower. The sound of the water mixed
   with Jingoro's cries as he tried to get out of the bathroom. I had
   sweat a lot during the night. That's to be expected, I guess, because
   I dreamed about doing it with Ayukawa.
   I can't quite remember what happened after Ayukawa's song ended, back
   in the hotel bar. But at least we greeted the morning together.
   Wait a minute! Maybe that dream was a prophetic dream!
   Or maybe not. You see, the Kasuga clan has the super-blood flowing in
   its veins; I, Kyosuke Kasuga, also possess super powers. Sometimes I
   even have dreams about the future before breakfast.
   Now that I think of it, when I got the reservations for the hotel,
   Ayukawa said, "Let's go to Chinatown for dinner instead of eating at
   the hotel." I'm sure we'll go see the night view of Yokohama, too.
   Maybe Ayukawa is busy writing _Kyosuke #1_ now...
   "Oniichan, hurry up and finish your shower. I'm waiting," came the
   voice of my demanding sister. Morning in the Kasuga house is always
   like this.
   "High school girls don't need to take a shower in the morning every
   day," I said.
   "Don't you know? It's dangerous for girls to smell sweaty these days.
   Crazy people follow you around. Just the other day, Komatsu-san and
   Hatta-san asked me to sell them my sweaty leotards."
   "What?!"
   Seiji Komatsu and Kazuya Hatta are my evil friends from high school.
   It seems like they're planning something with Kurumi and Manami again.
   "Those perverts!"
   "Don't tell me you sold them your stinky leotards to them?" Manami
   asked.
   "_Buun buun!_" Kurumi replied, once again using words no one can
   understand. I opened the bathroom door.
   "Don't just say _buun buun_. You didn't sell your leotards to them,
   right?"
   "I didn't sell them," Kurumi said. "I mean, I'd lose money if I did."
   "It's not a matter of losing or gaining money!" I said.
   "Oh, but if I sell my leotards to Komatsu and Hatta, they said they'll
   pay me twice the original price. They'll even take pictures of me, for
   free!"
   "Do you mean those perverted _buru-sera_ (5) shops?"
   "Yes!" she said.
   "Kurumi!"
   Without thinking, I ran out of the bathroom.
   "Help! Oh gross, Oniichan!"
   I covered myself up, but it was too late. These two high school girls,
   brimming with curiosity, got a good look at my _musuko_ (6) even as
   they were screaming and running away. Thanks to the commotion of the
   morning, I forgot all about the mysterious phone call. What reminded
   me of it was the Master of ABCB (7), talking about the phone call he'd
   gotten from Hikaru-chan in Hokkaido.
   
*****

    "What? Hikaru-chan's going to New York?"
   I drank down my hot caf latte in one gulp.
   "Yes," Master said. "A few days ago I got a call from Hokkaido. She
   said, someday I'm going to New York, absolutely positively. How's
   today's batch of caf latte?"
   "Ah, it's good. But maybe a bit too much milk. It's kind of sweet."
   "Ah, of course, I should make it foam a little more."
   Master shook his head and, taking a big cup reserved for himself,
   turned again to the caf latte machine. Master had gone all the way to
   Seattle in America to buy the caf latte machine. You use the machine
   to foam some warm milk, then add espresso coffee to it.
   "Some might say that this place is just a small coffee shop," he had
   said, "so there's no need to go to all the trouble to get this
   machine. But I don't agree. I think a person has to stay interested
   and energetic in his work all the time."
   These days he's been talking a lot like that.
   Ayukawa, who comes to help out from time to time, usually tells him,
   "It's good that you're putting effort into your work, but you really
   should stop keeping to yourself all the time and get out more. If you
   don't stop thinking of your ex-wife, there's never going to be anyone
   else."
   "Well, it's good that Hikaru-chan's _genki_," I said now.
   "Yes, Hikaru-chan made lots of friends up there. She apologized for
   moving away so suddenly, without even saying goodbye to me. She's a
   good kid."
   At Master's words, I felt a sharp pain in my breast.
   
   Hikaru Hiyama. I will never forget that name as long as I live.
   Hikaru-chan was Ayukawa's close friend from childhood, and for a time,
   the three of us spent lots of time together, going everywhere and
   having fun.
   In those days, Ayukawa's parents were out of the country a lot, and
   she was kind of a tough girl to get close to. I was the kind of person
   who could never make up his mind (although that's still kind of true
   now), and as a result, I was always having problems and
   misunderstandings with the two of them. But when we were with
   Hikaru-chan, every day was happy.
   But the time came when the three of us had to stop just piling up
   happy memories all the time. We were all becoming adults, and no
   matter how much we tried to keep things the way they were, someday it
   had to end.
   Last summer, when I was studying for the College Entrance
   Examinations, I kissed Hikaru-chan. That hurt Ayukawa very badly.
   After that, our happy triangle came crashing down around our ears. I
   finally had to tell Hikaru-chan that we shouldn't see each other
   anymore.
   "Madoka-san! Madoka-san, that was so unfair of you! Have you done
   anything for Kasuga-senpai?" Hikaru had said to Ayukawa at ABCB, her
   words full of blame. "I can do anything. If it's for senpai, I can do
   anything."
   Another time, she had pulled on my sleeve pathetically, pleading: "Is
   it me? I'm not good enough for you? I can't give you up,
   Kyosuke-senpai. Look at me, please. Don't ignore me!"
   I'm sorry, Hikaru-chan. I didn't ignore you. We just couldn't go on
   like that anymore. Laughing. Having fun together. It had to end
   sometime.
   Right about the time Ayukawa and I entered college, Hikaru-chan moved
   to the city of Otaru in Hokkaido. On the day she moved, I got a call
   from her from Haneda Airport.
   "Is this senpai? Ta-da! I know you said not to call anymore, but it's
   me, Hikaru Hiyama, coming to you live!"
   Hikaru-chan sounded so cheerful and bright. She told me she was headed
   for Hokkaido, thanks for everything, _sayonara_, then hung up. After
   that, I got a call from Ayukawa. She had gotten a call from
   Hikaru-chan, too.
   Ayukawa and I headed for the airport on her motorcycle. But the plane
   departing Haneda Airport for Sapporo had already left.
   "I didn't know. I didn't know she was moving. I didn't know."
   "Ayukawa."
   "This is the first time this has ever happened. Hikaru has never done
   anything so important without consulting me first."
   Next Ayukawa dropped her helmet on the floor of the airport and
   started sobbing uncontrollably.
   Ayukawa hadn't told me, but I could tell she had been upset over
   Hikaru-chan for a while. In the end, there was no avoiding that the
   two of us had to live apart from her. Still, I knew that Ayukawa would
   never be able to forgive herself.
   "Ayukawa!"
   I embraced her, but she continued crying like a woman gone insane.
   She slammed her body against the wall of the waiting room lobby again
   and again. I couldn't do anything to stop her. Then I put my body
   between her and the wall, thinking I would take Ayukawa's place, and
   slammed my head against the wall again and again. Only then did her
   rage at herself subside, but she continued sobbing as she clung to me.
   That was when I realized how many times stronger Ayukawa's sadness was
   than my own.
   On our way home from the airport, we stopped at Taiba Park, across
   from Tokyo bay. It was still a little cold, but beyond the artificial
   sand of the beach many windsurfers could be seen. We stared silently
   at them until the lights on the Rainbow Bridge, still under
   construction across from us, came on.
   After a while, Ayukawa said, "If I had known it was going to come to
   this, I would have taken her here when I had the chance. She had
   always wanted to try windsurfing. She said to me once, before they
   finish the Rainbow Bridge, please teach me. By the time the bridge is
   completed, you'll be a famous star, and then you won't have the time."
   "Ayukawa."
   "I told her, if she managed to stand up once, I'd give her my old
   board. I told her that! And now, in Hokkaido, she won't be able to go
   windsurfing. _Baka_, Hikaru. You've been that way ever since you were
   a child."
   After that, her words stopped making sense.
   I put my hand on her trembling shoulders, but Ayukawa didn't come to
   me like she usually did. I knew the reason why. Ayukawa and I were
   lucky enough to have someone to put our bodies against, but
   Hikaru-chan had to bear her loneliness all alone. Because she had to
   get away from us.
   No, that's wrong. Because you threw her away, Kyosuke.
   You threw her away!
   By the time the pleasure boats started casting tiny lights on the bay,
   Ayukawa and I had left the park. And we never talked about Hikaru-chan
   again.
   
   "Maybe I shouldn't have said anything about Hikaru-chan." Master
   looked at me, then put a new caf latte down in front of me, taking my
   first cup away.
   "Once the milk foam has disappeared, it's best to just get a new cup.
   You can't keep it forever. I guess that's like life."
   "Eh?" I said.
   "I think that it was good for Hikaru-chan to move, to find new
   experiences. It was good timing for her." Master winked amiably. "When
   two people break up, it's sometimes harder to stay in the same place.
   Every place you go, you're reminded of the person you broke up with."
   "Yeah, I guess."
   "That's a fair arrangement, isn't it? Hikaru-chan got hurt a little,
   and now she's gone. Both you and Madoka-kun are left, with memories of
   Hikaru-chan to drag around with you. Someday, Hikaru-chan will
   understand how hard that has been for you, too."
   I tried to smile, but screwed it up.
   "Listen to me talk, I've become the father character in all those
   romance movies I used to watch when I was a college student. I've
   tried to cheer a young boy up, but instead I've made him depressed."
   "No, it's okay. I'm okay, Master."
   "Oh yes, about Hikaru-chan and New York. I hadn't finished telling
   you. Do you remember the musical she starred in?"
   "Ah, yes. I believe it was called 'Downtown Cats.'"
   She had said to me, whatever you do, don't forget to come and see my
   play. But Ayukawa and I hadn't gone. Well _couldn+t_ go is a little
   more accurate.
   "Yes. She really enjoyed being in that musical. After graduating from
   high school in Otaru, she said she wanted to go to New York. To study
   dancing."
   "Wow, that's incredible."
   "Yes, she was really excited. She said, I don't know how far I can
   make it, but I'm going to try anyway. Isn't that great?"
   This time I made a real smile, and nodded.
   I didn't want Master to think I'm a rotten guy. I wanted him to see me
   as the kind of person who would give 100% support to a Hikaru-chan so
   full of hope and genki.
   But in reality. Somewhere deep in my heart.
   I thought, now Hikaru-chan is going to go somewhere even farther away
   from me than Hokkaido. The truth is... I was a little sad about this.
   I'm scum, aren't I?
   "Kasuga-kun, you've got to work hard at your dreams, too, right? Now
   that you've won the first prize in the picture contest."
   Just then, several customers came in.
   "Master, I'll take water to the customers," I said.
   "Hm?"
   "I have to work to pay you back for the second cup of caf latte."
   It was time for me to head back to school for my afternoon classes.
   After taking water to the customers and taking their orders, I left.
   It was the kind of day you get after the rainy season has ended, but
   before summer has started for real, and I felt somehow at peace. It
   was a pleasant feeling.
   This kind of weather will only be temporary.
   A few days ago, it was raining every day, and everything was humid and
   sticky. After this, the hot, humid summer will begin. But I didn't
   have the time to enjoy this season like I should. It would have been
   nice if I could just stop time.
   Yes.
   Stop time. Just like in those days.
   Back when Ayukawa, Hikaru-chan and I were three friends, together all
   the time. I wanted to freeze all those moments in time for all
   eternity. Like the day when we went to the beach, and played together,
   laughing. I want to go back to that day.
   Anyway, I was glad that Master had heard from Hikaru-chan. Continuing
   that thought, I recalled the phone call that disrupted the sweet,
   sweet dream of this morning.
   "Kyosuke! Watch out for cars. I'm you! Kyosuke Kasuga!"
   What a shocking phone call to get so early in the morning. And to
   pretend to be me, what a stupid prank.
   But wait a minute. Who would play a joke like that? Who would go to
   all the trouble? Well, maybe Komatsu and Hatta would be capable of it.
   But that voice. It wasn't either of them. Now that I think about it,
   that voice was just like mine.
   Whenever people hear your voice recorded, they usually say, "Is this
   my voice?" I hadn't been able to put my finger on it earlier, but that
   voice really was a lot like mine. But, how is that possible?
   I started to hurry to the train station. I didn't have as much time to
   get to class as I'd thought I had. Ayukawa is in my art class. If I
   don't show up again this week, she'll probably get angry.
   "Kasuga-kun, don't tell me the traffic was backed up because of a
   traffic accident again this week, too," she'll say.
   Wait a minute. Traffic accident?
   The man on the phone, Kyosuke Kasuga. He said, be careful of cars.
   Above me, the train was pulling into the station. If I hurry, I can
   catch it. But the light at the intersection had changed to red.
   "What the hell, go for it!" I said to myself, and ran out into the
   intersection. But just at that moment, something bright red appeared
   at the edge of my vision, coming towards me.
   It was a car!
   Just as I realized that the red thing was a Volvo station wagon, my
   body recoiled with the shock. Something in my head went boom! like
   fireworks. A loud noise sounded in my ears, then everything became
   white.
   That was when I lost consciousness.
   
*****

    After a time, I woke up.
   I mean, I _thought_ I woke up. But things were a little strange. I had
   completely regained consciousness, but the people around me aren't
   acting as they should.
   Wait a minute.
   Think very carefully, Kyosuke Kasuga. What's wrong with this picture?
   For some reason, I was looking down at my own body. My body was lying
   in a hospital bed. A doctor and a nurse were doing something to
   me--they're putting an I.V. into my arm.
   Isn't it a little strange for a person to be looking down at himself?
   Yes, quite strange!
   In addition to the doctor and nurse, Ayukawa, the Master of ABCB,
   Kurumi and Manami were in the room. Everyone was looking at me with
   saddened eyes. Ayukawa must have come here directly from school,
   because she was holding several textbooks. She looks like she would
   start crying at any moment.
   Manami was already crying. Kurumi was holding Jingoro, making circles
   in the air with his paws, and muttering something that sounded like a
   magic spell: "_Ururu, ururu_." As usual, no one can understand what
   the hell she's talking about.
   What's happening to me?
   
   "Have you been able to contact your father?" the nurse said in an
   official manner to Madoka. She thought that Madoka was a member of the
   Kasuga family.
   Manami spoke in place of Madoka. "We called, but haven't been able to
   reach him yet."
   "Please hurry. With things the way they are, he'll probably..."
   Madoka spoke up. "He'll probably what?!"
   The nurse said, "I only meant..."
   "You don't know what will happen, right? There are still faint brain
   waves, and his heart is still beating. You said it was still beating,
   right? So what the hell?! What do you mean by 'he'll probably...'?"
   The nurse tried again to speak, but couldn't.
   Just then the doctor put himself in between the two women, and spoke
   to Madoka. "Of course you're right. There is still a chance that this
   patient will live. But one thing is for certain. If he were a normal
   human, he would have died already."
   "What do you mean by that?" Master asked from behind Madoka.
   "I'm not exactly sure. We've done all we can for the patient. From
   here on out, it's up to his--how can I put this--his _life energy_. He
   has a 'soul' that's many times stronger than normal humans."
   "Stronger than normal humans?" Madoka asked.
   "Please try to understand. It's difficult for a physician such as
   myself to use such unscientific words."
   "So what's going to happen?" asked Kurumi and Manami in unison,
   leaning forward.
   "The patient's soul is fighting to stay in this world. By this I mean,
   the world in which we all live. What's kept him here this far is his
   unusual life energy."
   After saying this, the doctor couldn't bring himself to continue.
   "Well, anyway, let's see how things are a while longer," he said. He
   gave some directions to the nurse, then left the room in a hurry.
   Master said, "Well, the police and the driver of the car are waiting
   in the lobby. I'll go talk to them."
   "Thank you, Master," Manami said.
   "Don't mention it. Both you and Kurumi-chan, make sure you keep your
   wits about you."
   "Okay."
   Master smiled at the three of them, and left the room.
   Master had been the one to inform everyone about Kyosuke's accident.
   Right after Kyosuke left the coffee shop, he'd heard sirens near the
   station. Getting an uneasy feeling in his chest, he had run to the
   station. On his way, he encountered Kyosuke, who had been hit by a
   car.
   After Master left the room, everything was quiet for a moment.
   No--there was Kyosuke's respirator. That was the only thing that broke
   that silence.
   "Kasuga-kun! Kasuga-kun, don't give up!" Madoka cried.
   Then, as if she was the only one in the room who knew Kyosuke's
   secret, she whispered: "You're a superman, right? Just like the doctor
   said, you've got many times more power than normal people, right?
   Don't give in to this! Come back to us!"
   "Oniichan!"
   Madoka and Manami were clinging to the bed beside Kyosuke.
   Oh, Ayukawa!
   How could things have come to this?
   I guess it's true. I was hit by that Volvo, all because I was in a
   hurry. I must have been thinking about Hikaru-chan, instead of paying
   attention. If things are really as bad as they seem, I guess I'm going
   to die.
   But I can't.
   What about this weekend, with Ayukawa, and _it_.
   On second thought, let's put that aside for now.
   But there are still so many things I want to do. And now I'm going to
   die. One thing I know for sure, it's not right for a person to be
   separated from his body. This is really strange! If what the doctor
   says is true, that I possess a soul several times stronger than normal
   humans. Couldn't I just get back into my body?
   I went down to where my body was, and decided to get inside. But
   something went _bump!_, like the sound of hitting a living fish.
   "No, Kasuga-kun!"
   "Oniichan!"
   What's happening?
   There was some kind of strong barrier around my body that pushed me
   back. Or maybe it the other way around. Maybe the soul is rejecting
   the flesh. Just then my cousins Akane and Kazuya entered the hospital
   room.
   "No, Oniichan!" Kazuya cried. "Why did you die?"
   "You klutz, Kyosuke!" Akane added. "Just when you were so happy about
   having gotten to the point where you can have sex with Madoka!"
   Hey, don't say things like that, Akane!
   Manami said, "Wait a minute, Akane and Kazuya. Oniichan isn't dead
   yet."
   Yes. You tell them, my cute little sister.
   "You two are terrible," Kurumi said. "Always jumping the gun."
   Good, Kurumi. Sometimes even you say the right thing.
   Kurumi went on. "The dying part comes later. He's just resting right
   now."
   What?!
   "Kurumi!"
   You know, sometimes I'm ashamed to admit that she's my sister.
   Akane said, "Oh, well, it's good that he's still alive. Well, Kazuya,
   shall we try the plan that we discussed?"
   "Roger!"
   "Wait a minute, Akane-chan. What plan?"
   Akane said, "Kazuya has telepathy, right?"
   Yes, that's right. I've been made to suffer time and time again at the
   hands of that esper ability. Kazuya has the ability to read people's
   minds. For example, in front of Ayukawa, he would say, "Oh,
   Kyosuke-niichan is thinking that he wants to kiss Madoka-neechan right
   now."
   Ayukawa: "I think I understand. He might be able to find out what's
   really wrong with Kasuga-kun, and what we can do to help the
   situation."
   Akane beamed at Madoka. "Correct! Oh, Madoka-oneechan, you're right
   again. Unlike these two empty-heads," Akane said, implying Manami and
   Kurumi.
   Meanwhile, Kazuya was resting his cheek on Ayukawa's bosum.
   "Who are you calling empty-heads?!" Kurumi demanded.
   "That Kazuya, he always clings to Madoka-san," Manami said.
   You still haven't gotten over that perverted tendency of yours, have
   you, Kazuya? Cut it out! I went to poke him in the head, but then I
   remembered I had no body.
   Shit! I'm totally helpless! This is like that movie "Ghost" I saw with
   Ayukawa.
   Ayukawa's face was very serious. "Go ahead and try the plan, Kazuya.
   We have to try everything." If it had been anyone else hearing what
   Akane and Kazuya were saying, they would never have given them the
   time of day. But Ayukawa believed 100% in the strange powers of my
   family.
   I remember the day I first told her about our powers. "Listen,
   Ayukawa," I had said then. "There's something very important I have to
   tell you."
   It was when we had first started going out together, right after I had
   broken up with Hikaru-chan. I had kept the esper powers secret from
   her for years, but I was unable to do so any longer.
   "What is it, Kasuga-kun?" she said, a little surprised, then: "Oh,
   I'll bet I know."
   "What?" I had said.
   "You kissed Hikaru-chan again."
   "What? Don't say things like that, Ayukawa!"
   She laughed. She hadn't completely forgotten about the time I kissed
   Hikaru-chan, apparently. Up til that time, I had tried to kiss Ayukawa
   a number of times, but she had always rebuffed me.
   I waited until she was finished laughing, then told her all about the
   Kasuga family. That we were a family of espers, that we've had an
   ancient tradition that forbade the secret of our powers becoming known
   to outsiders, and so on.
   Ayukawa listened silently to what I had to say, her head cocked
   slightly to one side. To tell the truth, I was a little uneasy. I
   mean, it sounds really cool to say I'm a superman. But it also means
   I'm not a normal human. What if she thought we were monsters?
   Instead, after hearing me out, she let out a long sigh. "I see. That
   explains everything."
   "Huh?"
   "I mean, sometimes you do really strange things, Kasuga-kun. That
   thought has occurred to me many times."
   Sometimes when I'd promised to go on a date with both Ayukawa and
   Hikaru-chan at the same time, I'd use teleportation to be with both of
   them. This is the kind of thing she had been talking about.
   Ayukawa said, "Thank you, Kasuga-kun. For choosing me to tell your
   secret to."
   "Ayukawa."
   "I guess I have to do something to show my thanks, don't I?"
   I'm sure I was making a stupid face at the time. Ayukawa came close to
   me, and pressed her lips to mine. That was our first kiss (8).
   
   "Okay, here we go, Kyosuke-niichan!" Kazuya said now, in the hospital
   room. Kazuya held my body's hand, and took a breath. Ayukawa and my
   sisters leaned forward. Even me, floating in the air, found myself
   holding my breath as I watched the turn of events.
   _Oniichan, it's me, Kazuya. We're all worried about you. Are you
   okay?_
   "How's it going, Kazuya-kun?" Manami asked.
   "It's no good. I can't get any response."
   What? No, that can't be. Why can't you hear me, Kazuya? I'm right
   here. My soul has just left my body for a while.
   "Kyosuke-niichan! Kyosuke-niichan!" Kazuya called.
   Kazuya! Hello, Kazuya!
   I yelled to Kazuya with all my strength. I hovered in front of his
   nose, screaming Kazuya, Kazuya! But he couldn't hear me.
   Akane shook her head. "I guess it's not going to work. Kazuya's powers
   aren't fully developed yet."
   You know, Akane, that's always been your problem--you give up too
   easily.
   Kurumi said, "Well, Jingoro-chan, it's time to say goodbye to
   Oniichan."
   "Kurumi-chan!" Manami said.
   How many times do I have to tell you, I'm not dead yet!
   But even as I said those words, the "me" lying in the hospital bed
   seemed to be getting weaker. Up til that time, I could feel a strong
   power tying my soul to my body, but now that power seemed to be
   lessening.
   And when that power is gone...
   When that power is gone, my body will die.
   And my soul? What's going to happen to my soul?
   "Kasuga-kun! Kasuga-kun! Don't give up! Don't give up, do you hear?"
   Like a dam bursting, Ayukawa started to cry. As if carried away by
   that, my sisters and cousins began sobbing quietly. But five minutes
   later, the situation changed. My grandfather, who has just rushed here
   from his house in the countryside, came into the room and said:
   "There's nothing to do now but send Kyosuke's soul into the past!"
   
*****

    "To the past?" Ayukawa said, her eyes filled with tears.
   Ojiichan said, "Oh, you're that Madoka girl, Kyosuke's you-know-what."
   He held up the pinky of his right hand in a gesture that meant
   girlfriend. Once, we had all gone to Ojiichan's house. Ojiichan was
   the head of my mother's branch of the family, and thus, capable of
   great esper powers.
   However: "Well, you're looking sexier than ever. Have you had sex with
   Kyosuke yet?"
   How can he be like that when his grandchild is probably going to die?
   Manami said, "Ojiichan, we don't have time for that. What do you mean,
   send his soul to the past?"
   Kurumi piped in, "Yes, what do you mean?"
   Go, my sisters. They've finally started concentrating on the problem
   at hand.
   "Okay, okay, I'll explain it to you. Because our family has powers
   different from normal humans, the balance between our souls and our
   flesh is very important. Isn't that right, Baachan?"
   "Yes," Obaachan agreed, sitting in a chair.
   Ayukawa said, "Balance?"
   "That's right, Madoka-kun. And now Kyosuke, lying in that bed, is just
   one step away from death. But! The life energy of this family is very
   powerful. That's why Kyosuke is still alive, why his soul is trapped
   between worlds, unable to return to his weakened body."
   "His soul is what?" Ayukawa said.
   Akane put in, "Which would mean that is spirit is wandering around
   this room somewhere."
   Ojiichan said, "Off course, Akane."
   Kazuya: "Hey, Kyosuke-niichan, where are you?"
   I'm here, Kazuya, I'm here!
   Kurumi said, "I'll bet Kyosuke is looking down Madoka-san's shirt or
   something right now."
   Would you two stop talking like that? Let me think. When I tried to
   get into my own body a few minutes ago, it didn't work.
   Manami said, "So, what's going to happen to Oniichan?"
   "According to what the doctor said, they've done all they can,"
   Ayukawa said. "If his body recovers, won't everything be okay?"
   "No, even that may be too late," Ojiichan said. "The time during which
   a soul can be separated from its flesh is a day. No, more like half a
   day. And if the flesh should die during that time...
   Oh no!
   But what's going to happen to "me" if my body dies?
   Ojiichan continued. "If the flesh dies, then Kyosuke's soul will
   disband with a _whoosh_!"
   Disband?
   Ojiichan said, "Isn't that right, Baachan?"
   "Yes," she said.
   Madoka said, "Kasuga-kun."
   Ayukawa.
   I guess I only have one more day to live. No, just half a day. The
   same goes for our night gazing at the Yokohama Bay Bridge together.
   And _it_.
   It will all die with me, for all eternity.
   Kurumi said, "So you said you were going to send Oniichan's soul into
   the past. What does that mean?"
   Way to go, Kurumi. We still haven't heard Ojiichan's explanation about
   that yet.
   Ojiichan cleared his throat. "Yes, well. Kyosuke's soul is rejecting
   his weakened body, and so no matter how hard he tries, he will be
   unable to re-enter his flesh. So we're going to send Kyosuke's soul to
   the past. If we sent him into the future, he would probably already be
   dead."
   Stop talking that way, I told you!
   "In the past, that balance is unaffected, so if he meets himself, he
   can re-join with the flesh then. When that happens, the Kyosuke of the
   present should come back to life."
   Hmm, this isn't as easy as I'd hoped. I need to find myself in the
   past, and with his cooperation, get myself out of this predicament.
   "Okay, let's get started right away," Ojiichan said, and began
   chanting something.
   "Kasuga-kun!" Ayukawa said.
   I looked down at her, and to my sadness, I couldn't feel the warmth of
   her hand holding mine.
   Ojiichan's chanting filled the room. I'm sure he was chanting it
   normally, but to me it seemed like a flood of sound filling my ears.
   Then everything that I had been looking at Ayukawa, so sad, my own
   body, groaning in agony everything began to waiver in front of me,
   like the horizon in the desert on hot day. Then, just as it seemed
   that Ojiichan's spell would break the walls of the room, I was cast
   into a blinding world of light.
   Then I found out that even ghosts can lose consciousness. In the
   center of that light, I began to fade away. Just then, I heard
   Ojiichan+s voice:
   "Oh no! Instead of sending Kyosuke's soul to the past, I've sent him
   to the future!"
   
PART II

    The future?
   But I had no way to ask what Ojiichan had meant.
   I came out of that world of light, and fell through a space filled
   with colors that changed all around me. I was flying through other
   dimensions. Ojiichan said he'd sent me into the future, but I think he
   was wrong. I was dead, and I was falling straight down into heaven. As
   if to prove I was right, I found myself gently touching down on a
   cloud, with angels all around me.
   But in reality, it wasn't a cloud. It was a thorn bush.
   "Ouch!"
   I hit my head hard against the ground, and that was when I realized
   that I wasn't among any angels.
   "Where is this?" I said.
   It was a place I was very familiar with. I was at the bottom of the
   Hundred Stairs.
   But why was I here?
   I felt a little it at a loss as I looked up those never-ending steps.
   If you climb to the top, there's a small park, and beyond that, my
   family's apartment building. It was here that I first met Ayukawa. I
   remember that day well. I had just moved to this area.
   On my way back from picking up the nameplate for our new apartment, I
   had climbed these stairs, counting: "ichi, ni,..." When I was near the
   top, I witnessed a bright red UFO flying above me. But it wasn't a
   UFO. It was a red straw hat which Madoka Ayukawa had cast into the
   wind for fun.
   
   I jumped up and caught the hat.
   "Got it!"
   From above me, I heard her voice.
   "Nice catch!"
   That was the first time I laid eyes on Madoka Ayukawa.
   "I threw it into the wind just now. I'm glad you caught it. I thought
   it was going to go all the way down."
   I'm sure I was making the ultimate stupid face. It was all I could do
   to utter a meaningless laugh, as I took in her long, black hair, her
   deep eyes, her soft, pert lips, that grown-up look that could only be
   called sexy.
   "It would have been terrible. These stairs go on forever."
   "Um, yeah. They do."
   What a stupid line! _Baka!_
   "Yes, there are ninety-nine of them."
   "Huh?" I said. Continuing my count, I climbed to the top.
   "Ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred!"
   "What?" she said. "You're wrong. There are only ninety-nine!"
   "But I counted them all the way from the bottom."
   "That can't be right. When I counted them, there were only
   ninety-nine." She was riled up now, and it made her even more
   beautiful. I struggled to calm myself.
   "Are you sure you didn't count wrong?" I asked.
   "What about you? Maybe you counted wrong."
   "No, I'm sure. There were one hundred stairs."
   "Ninety-nine!"
   "One hundred!"
   "Ninety-nine!"
   I've been told I was too passive ever since I was a child, but just
   then, I had a good idea.
   "Well, how about this? We'll compromise. There are 99.5 stairs!"
   Ayukawa looked surprised for a second, then laughed with that sweet
   voice of hers.
   
   Ayukawa.
   But I don't have time right now to sit around and bask in memories.
   I've found out _where_ I am, but I have to found out _when_, and
   what's happened to my body in this time. I know I heard Ojiichan say,
   "Oh no, I've sent him to the future!"
   But if that's true... And if I did die back there. Then that means I
   don't exist in the future. So _what_ am I? A ghost?
   That was when I noticed something strange. Even though I was supposed
   to be just a spirit, I now possessed a body.
   "Possess" is kind of a strange way of putting it, but I was here, body
   and all. And my head, which I bumped back there at the bottom of the
   stairs, still hurt.
   Standing here confused wasn't going to accomplish anything, so I
   started for home. The apartment building looked a little more worn
   than I'd remembered, but everything else was the same. But when I
   started to enter the building, I looked at the nameplate in the lobby,
   and was instantly shaken. The Kasuga name was gone from apartment 307.
   Maybe they changed apartments. Maybe that was it. I checked the other
   floors, but the name of Kasuga wasn't there.
   There was more. I looked at the date on the circulating message board,
   used to tell tenants about meetings, events, etc., and was shocked.
   The date on it was July 23, 1994!
   1994? That's three years in the future!
   Three years. And now my family has moved out of this apartment
   building. Maybe they had to move because of Dad and that recent
   interest in social problems of his. We were making a good enough
   living back when he was a landscape and studio photographer, but maybe
   he was killed while overseas? Unable to pay the rent, Manami and
   Kurumi were forced to move?
   But it wasn't the time or place for me to be making random guesses
   like that. Was I even alive in this world of three-years-later? What
   about Manami? Kurumi? And what about Ayukawa... I realized and started
   panicking. Anyway, this is how I found myself in the world of the
   future, searching for myself.
   
*****

    "What? 1994?" Ayukawa asked Ojiichan.
   "Yes. Probably."
   Manami: "Wait a minute, Ojiichan, 'Probably' isn't good enough!"
   "Yes," Kurumi said, "you said 'Oh no!' when you sent Oniichan's spirit
   to the future."
   Ojiichan was flustered. "Sorry, I did it backwards."
   "Backwards?!" the twins exclaimed.
   There was no guarantee that Kyosuke would be alive in the future. If
   his body in front of them were to die, then his spirit would
   disappear, even though it had been sent into the future.
   But just then, Kyosuke's body, lying in the bed, let out a little
   moan, as if to stop the arguing that had begun around him.
   "Kasuga-kun! Kasuga-kun!" Madoka held tight to his hand. "He's not
   dead, he's not. Look at him breathing. His body isn't dead! How can
   you say that his soul has left his body?"
   Madoka swallowed the rest of her words. Even if the spirit
   disappeared, you couldn't be sure if the body would follow suit and
   die immediately. There might be a time delay, so that later, the body
   will pass away.
   Kazuya said, "Hey, Ojiichan, Kyosuke-niichan looks worse than he did
   before."
   Manami shushed him. "Kazuya! Watch what you're saying!"
   "That's right, Kazuya. You're not supposed to say things like that,
   even if it's true," Akane said, poking her brother in the head.
   Ojiichan said, "You're not going to have a fight here, you two!
   Everyone listen to me. It's true that Kyosuke looks worse than he did
   earlier.
   There's nothing we can do about that--his soul is not here."
   "So you're saying that the Kyosuke in front of us is nothing more than
   a mass of broken flesh?" Manami asked.
   "That's correct. Right, Baasan?"
   Kyosuke's grandfather sought the agreement of his wife of many years.
   But she was in her chair, sleeping soundly, oblivious to the commotion
   her grandchildren were making.
   "I can't believe it." And with that, the oldest living Kasuga (9) let
   out a great sigh.
   But Madoka Ayukawa felt the power of the Kasuga clan. She spoke to
   herself, as if in prayer.
   It's okay.
   You'll come back to us, I know you will, Kasuga-kun.
   Because you...you're a superman.
   
*****

    Unaware of the events in the hospital room three years ago, I found
   myself in front of ABCB. I thought that Master would be willing to
   listen to what I have to say, and help me out. I had to find out so
   many things about this time period, including whether or not I was
   even alive. Also, Ayukawa's whereabouts.
   If I am dead, then Ayukawa would be twenty-two years old. It's even
   possible that she might be going out with someone other than me. That
   that would hurt me more than being dead.
   Suddenly overcome with worry, I went to the window and peered in. At
   the counter was a girl I hadn't seen before, resting her head on her
   hands. She was wearing an ABCB apron. She must be a part-time worker.
   So Master is out right now. I gathered my courage and opened the door.
   She was apparently one of those "body-conscious" types, with a little
   too much makeup. She looked at me with eyes that seemed half asleep.
   Something about her didn't seem to fit in with the atmosphere of ABCB
   very well. But then, the place was pretty cluttered. Was it possible
   for a place to get this dirty in just three years? There were no other
   customers besides me.
   I said, "Where's Master?"
   "Oh, are you a friend of his? He's probably still playing pachinko."
   "Pachinko?"
   In the past three years, the coffee shop's atmosphere wasn't the only
   thing that changed. When the pachinko parlor in front of the station
   first opened, I remember Master saying to me, "That's terrible. Now
   the refined taste and culture of this area is going to be swept away
   by a new pleasure quarters."
   Well, I can't do anything about that. Now is not the time for me to
   concern myself with Master's hobbies.
   "Give me a caf latte," I said, seating myself.
   But she just said, "What's that?"
   It was my turn to be surprised. But as I looked around, I couldn't see
   the caf latte maker. I guess he must have given up on it.
   "Well, I'll have coffee."
   "Comin' up," she answered. She poured coffee from a pot into a small
   pan and started warming it. I was shocked. Master had always insisted
   on serving coffee that had been freshly made. "Coffee should be made
   one cup at a time," he had always said.
   I got more and more worried.
   You often hear that people can change easily, but I wonder. Could
   Master have changed not only his tastes and interests, but also his
   personality, in just three years? If that's so, will he be happy to
   see me?
   "Here you are. Hot enough to kill you." She put the coffee in front of
   me. It was as hot as she said.
   "Thanks. Um, by the way, is Master still wearing a beard?" Before I
   met him again, I wanted to know some things about him.
   "He sure does. Really bushy."
   "Bushy?"
   I was confused. Master wore a beard and moustache three years ago, but
   I wouldn't exactly call it bushy.
   "I see," I said. "He's still wearing one."
   "I guess you haven't seen him for a while."
   "Yes. Three years, actually."
   "Three years? That's strange. He's been that way for a while."
   "What way?"
   "You know. _Koochi koochi koo_." She stuck her chin out a little and
   wiggled her head from right to left.
   "What's that?"
   "Well, with part-time girls like me, he likes to rub his beard against
   the nape of my neck when I'm washing dishes."
   I thought I was going to throw up the coffee I had just started to
   drink.
   "Master did that?"
   "Sure. It's been a month since I started here, so I'm used to it by
   now."
   I don't care if Master takes up pachinko or changes the way he makes
   his coffee, but there is no reason why he should be harassing girls
   who work here like that! I thought that if Master had changed that
   much, then maybe he wouldn't be willing to help me in my situation
   now. My uneasiness was starting to give way to anger.
   Just then, the door opened behind me. The part-time girl said, "Ah,
   Master."
   Master?
   I'll admit that I am usually indecisive. But we who have Kasuga blood
   in our veins try to have a sense of what is right and wrong twice as
   strong as most people. Furthermore, Master is like an older brother to
   Ayukawa. I don't know what kind of troubles Master has gone through in
   the last three years ago, but there's no reason to go and tickle girls
   who work for you in the napes of their necks!
   Unable to take it any more, I slammed my coffee cup down with a loud
   noise and turned around. "I'm ashamed of you, Master, laying your
   hands on your employees like that!"
   The person I'd yelled at said, "Huh?" and moved back towards the door.
   He was more or less an old man--a totally different man from the
   Master I knew.
   It turned out that the rights to ABCB had been sold to this man,
   silverware, fixtures and everything. He said it was a common thing for
   owners of coffee shops or bars to do when they wanted to get out of
   the business. I couldn't figure out what had happened in Master's life
   that he would have wanted to sell. But according to the old man, he
   had bought the shop a year and a half before, and had never met Master
   directly.
   I bowed my head and apologized to the owner for yelling at him while
   the girl laughed. If there had been a hole, I would have put my head
   in it. After hearing the situation from the old man, I paid for my
   coffee and left.
   I didn't know where Master was. That didn't mean that no one knew. But
   I didn't have the courage to ask the cigarette lady or the owner of
   the ramen shop where Master always went. I guess I must be dead in
   this time.
   I looked up. Without realizing it, I had returned to the station.
   A footbridge now spanned the intersection where I had been hit by a
   car three years ago. It was almost as if the footbridge was built as a
   result of my accident, and it amused me for some reason.
   A gentle breeze blew, giving me a pleasant feeling. I started to climb
   the stairs up the footbridge, counting the steps as I went.
   "Ichi, ni, san,..."
   My feet touched each step, one at a time. So am I dead in this time
   period? Am I just a spirit, floating in time?
   "Nijuu-go, nijuu-roku,..."
   As I reached the last step, I heard a voice above me. It filled me
   with memories somehow.
   "Nijuu-nanna! Twenty seven!"
   I looked up slowly, and in the next instant, bitter-sweet memories
   flooded into me.
   Above me on the footbridge stood a woman, her face still betraying
   shadows of girl-hood. She was sampling the gentle beginning-of-summer
   breeze. No, she was not a girl at all. She was a woman. If I hadn't
   had hundreds of memories of that face in its younger years locked away
   in my memory, I might have thought she was just an attractive woman, a
   little older than me.
   It was Hikaru-chan.
   I let out the breath I realized had been holding, and called her name.
   "Hikaru-chan!"
   She turned and said instantly, "Gosh, I can't believe it, it's Kasuga-
   senpai! I never expected to bump into you out here!"
   Her hair was slightly longer than her shoulders, all one length. Her
   salmon pink dress matched her red-brown hair well. I'm positive she
   had grown in the three years--three and a half years--since I'd met
   her.
   "Hikaru-chan,...you've... you've gotten taller."
   _Baka!_ What a stupid thing to say!
   Hikaru-chan looked at me with surprise on her face, then said, "No, I
   haven't, senpai. You know, it has been over three years since we've
   seen each other."
   I looked embarrassed.
   She laughed, her mouth wide open like an 'o,' like she always used to.
   Like she always used to, back when we were three friends, together all
   the time.
   "How about you?" she continued. "I can't believe it. You haven't
   changed at all, really. You look like you're still in high school."
   She was right. I was my 19-year-old self, but Hikaru-chan was 22 now,
   one year older than me.
   "Well, you know what they say about men maturing more slowly than
   women," I said, trying to change the subject. "That's why I look so
   young. Um, did you come here from Hokkaido?"
   "No, senpai. I live in New York now."
   "New York?"
   "Yep. Pretty cool, isn't it?"
   "Ah, that's right. Now that you mention it, Master was saying
   something about that. After you graduated from your high school in
   Otaru, you wanted to go there."
   "I said that? I don't remember saying that. Do you know when that
   was?"
   "Hm?" I said quickly. "Um, no, I can't remember. But if you live in
   New York, why are you--"
   I was interrupted by her "pocket bell" beeping. Hikaru-chan took it
   out of her shoulder bag and checked the number of the person who had
   beeped her. For a moment, her face seemed to cloud up with emotion.
   "Gosh, just when I was talking with an old friend," she said. "Can you
   hang on a sec?"
   "Ah, sure. I don't have anything to be doing right now, anyway."
   Hikaru-chan flashed a smile at me, and ran down the stairs of the
   footbridge to a phone booth. I stared at her receding shape. She was
   probably taking dance lessons in New York. It seemed as if
   Hikaru-chan, once so small and slim, had grown larger and bolder in
   the last three years. To tell the absolute truth, Hikaru-chan's body
   seemed to be filling her one-piece dress more than it would have
   before. It was incredibly arousing to me. For a moment, I forgot my
   own current predicament.
   
   Hikaru Hiyama entered the phone booth and sighed. It was something she
   always did before going on-stage to help calm herself.
   I wasn't ready for that, bumping into darling, no, I mean
   Kyosuke-senpai, on the street like this.
   Hikaru had anticipated that she might run into Kyosuke or Madoka by
   chance when returned to Tokyo. She was even hoping for it, somewhere
   deep inside her. But it had been so sudden, and now her heart was
   racing.
   I'd promised myself earlier that, whenever I did meet senpai again, I
   would be a woman, grown-up and stylish. But I'm really just a stupid
   fool. Blurting out such childish words like that. _Gosh, I can't
   believe it, it's Kasuga-senpai!_ He'd never think that I was grown-up,
   talking like that.
   Hikaru sighed again, and began to dial the number displayed on her
   beeper. On top of everything else, the man who had interrupted her
   conversation with senpai was the lowest scum on Earth.
   She'd tell him off now.
   This is Tokyo (10). Where I was born and where I grew up. Don't think
   you can treat me the way you did when I first got to New York!
   Hikaru went there right after graduating from high school, declaring
   her stay as a one-year English study to the U.S. immigration
   officials.
   For the first three months, she took classes in ESL--"English as a
   Second Language"--an English program mainly for native speakers of
   other languages. She had gone to study dance, but students without
   English ability couldn't get a visa to study at dance schools.
   To her surprise, ninety percent of the students in the ESL classes
   were Japanese. What's more, they weren't really interested in studying
   English or even in engaging in cultural interchange with Americans
   while under the financial wings of their parents, but instead were
   just grouping together into herds with other Japanese. Faced with the
   loneliness and helplessness of living on her own in a foreign country,
   Hikaru spent a little time with such people, but eventually she
   decided to change schools and make a new start.
   That was when she met Sugizawa, a Japanese man working part-time at a
   small travel agency in Greenwich Village. Sugizawa had just graduated
   from a university in New York, and was looking for work as a dancer.
   He was a sportsman, with an athlete's body, and his white teeth
   impressed Hikaru immediately.
   In the Village were many "off Broadway" houses which featured smaller
   plays and musicals. Sugizawa appeared in such houses occasionally, and
   was thus somewhat well-known in the Village.
   Sugizawa impressed Hikaru further with his fluent English and
   extensive knowledge of the Village. She had yet to make much progress
   even in her study of English. They accompanied each other to many off
   Broadway plays and musicals, and were quickly becoming closer and
   closer. On an Autumn- tinged Halloween night, in Sugizawa's room over
   the Hudson river, they were joined.
   It was Hikaru's first experience.
   But afterward, he soon became unyielding to Hikaru. He began to
   completely monopolize her. He began to ask about every detail of her
   schedule for the day, and always went to pick her up when she was
   finished. At first, Hikaru thought of his actions as an expression of
   his affection for her, but gradually it got to be too much.
   On New Years Eve, Hikaru was invited to a home party by her dance
   instructor. It was the first time she'd been invited to such an event.
   Hikaru enjoyed the party, and tried hard to use her English. Outside,
   snow had started to fall. Early in the morning, the party finally
   ended, and the instructor said he'd escort everyone home. In New York
   with its high crime rate, this is not unusual.
   But when Hikaru went outside, Sugizawa's Corvette was waiting for her,
   covered with snow. That was when she realized her feelings had begun
   to grow apart from Sugizawa's.
   "Let me do my own thing!" she had told him, and for a moment his eyes
   became round with surprise. She didn't go back to his room after that.
   Sugizawa called her many times, but she let the answering machine
   answer the phone for her. One day, after returning from her dance
   lesson, Hikaru heard the following tear-choked voice on her answering
   machine.
   "It's always this way. Whenever I let myself love someone, it ends up
   like this, the more I love her, the more I end up hurting her, and in
   the end, it turns out that I wasn't really in love with her, I was
   just in love with myself."
   His words ceased to be words after that. Sugizawa said he was going
   home to Tokyo the next day. Hikaru had no regrets over Sugizawa. But
   after hearing his voice on the answering machine, a memory she'd been
   trying to forget for a long time suddenly resurfaced.
   It was just like that summer.
   When I couldn't think of anything but Kasuga-senpai. Kasuga-senpai,
   studying so hard for the university entrance exams. And me chasing
   him, pestering him. Just like what Sugizawa was doing to me.
   The next day, Hikaru went to the airport to see Sugizawa off. He was
   overjoyed. He gave her his address in Tokyo, and asked her to visit
   him when she came back to Japan.
   Hikaru agreed, but as soon as his plane lifted off, she threw the
   paper he'd given her in the trash. Just then, Kyosuke's face had come
   back to her. She knew the reason why.
   "Hello?" she said now into the phone.
   As soon as she spoke, Sugizawa's voice came on at the other end.
   "Hikaru? That's you, isn't it? When did you get to Japan? Why didn't
   you tell me your flight number? What about your hotel? Where are you
   now? Should I pick you up?"
   Hikaru had no plans to visit her parents in Otaru. She had had a
   friend she had met in New York make the hotel reservations for her.
   That friend must have told Sugizawa that Hikaru was returning to
   Japan, and given him her beeper number, thinking she was being
   helpful.
   Hikaru waited for the first volley of questions to cease, then said,
   "Could you tell me all that one more time, Sugizawa-san? There were so
   many questions, I couldn't answer them all without writing them down."
   Hikaru was sad to hear such bitterness and cynicism coming out of her
   mouth.
   
   "What? An audition for a musical?" I said, surprised.
   Hikaru-chan had run back up to the top of the footbridge where I had
   waited for her to finish her phone call, and told me her reason for
   coming back to Japan. She was going to audition for the musical.
   "Yes," she said, "and it's a pretty big production, too. A friend I
   had made while in New York called to tell me about it."
   "Wow, that's really great," I said.
   "No, it's really nothing," she said, giggling a little. "I'm just
   going to audition for the part; it's not like I've passed it or
   anything. My instructor in New York tells me all the time, Hikaru, you
   aren't good enough to get a real part yet. But he thought it was a
   good idea for me to try out some of what I'd learned in New York back
   in Tokyo."
   "That's great. He speaks to you in English, then, I guess."
   This set off more embarrassed laughter, and she balled her hands into
   little fists and pretended to hit me. Some people crossing the
   footbridge from the station looked at us.
   "Hikaru-chan."
   Hikaru was as innocent and child-like as always. So full of light and
   energy.
   Someone approached us on the footbridge, and I moved nearer to Hikaru
   to let them pass. When I did so, the light smell of her _eau de
   cologne_ struck me. I moved away.
   I tried to change the subject: "So where are you staying? I mean, your
   parents are still in Hokkaido, right? Oh, at a hotel. Wait a minute,
   are there any hotels around here?"
   "No, the hotel is near the home of the girl who told me about the
   audition. She's going to audition for the play along with me. She
   offered to let me stay with her, but in the end we are rivals, so I
   decided to stay by myself."
   "Wow, that's great," I said.
   "Oh no, there you go again, saying how great I am," Hikaru laughed.
   "My friend gave me her beeper, so she could contact me if anything
   came up."
   "I see. So that's who you were talking to back there."
   Hikaru beamed. "Senpai, did you think I was talking to a man or
   something?"
   "Me? Well, I..."
   You hit the bull's eye, Hikaru-chan. I'd been thinking of nothing else
   for the past few minutes.
   Hikaru-chan laughed, then continued. "I came back to the old
   neighborhood as a favor to my mother. She told me, if you can't come
   visit us in Otaru, at least go to where we used to live and say hello
   to everyone. Can you believe she's kept contact with everyone in the
   neighborhood for three years?"
   I felt bad. Ayukawa and I hadn't even tried to keep up contact with
   Hikaru-chan. Meeting her by chance like this, I feel like a cold
   bucket of water had been dumped over my head.
   "Well, I guess I'd better be getting back."
   I said, "Oh, well, so do I." After I spoke, I thought to myself, where
   do I have to go to?
   Hikaru-chan was looking at me strangely.
   "Um, senpai, are you sure you're feeling alright?"
   "Hm?"
   "Well, I mean you seem to be full of memories all of the sudden."
   "I'm okay, I guess."
   But I was feeling kind of funny again. Hikaru-chan was right. I must
   have tired myself out, walking around thinking so much. I considered
   telling everything to Hikaru-chan.
   But no, I couldn't do that. It was probably even a good thing that I
   hadn't been keeping contact up with Hikaru-chan for these past three
   years, so that she wouldn't think anything was strange if I was really
   dead in this time period.
   "No really, what's wrong, senpai?"
   "Huh?"
   Hikaru-chan made a strange face. "This is what you look like," she
   said. "But then, you have always been a little odd. I used to talk
   about it with Madoka-san every once in a while. Once she said to me,
   Kasuga-kun always seems like he's keeping a secret from everyone."
   "That's not true!" I blurted.
   Hikaru suddenly got serious. "Can I ask you a question?"
   Just then in the street below us, a large bus lumbered by noisily.
   Because of this, I couldn't hear clearly what Hikaru-chan said next.
   "Are you taking care of your health?"
   I answered, "Well, you know how it is. Things could be better."
   Hikaru-chan made a strange face, and I thought that she must have
   misunderstood what I had said or something. But I thought, there's no
   way she could take what I just said the wrong way. I dismissed the
   thought.
   But Hikaru-chan hadn't asked about my health. She had really asked,
   "Is everything okay between you and Madoka-san?" It wasn't until later
   that I realized this.
   After the sound of the truck had receded, Hikaru-chan took a few steps
   down the stairs down to the street. She looked a little unsettled.
   "Well, senpai, I'll be going now."
   "Okay," I said.
   Hikaru-chan shot a happy smile at me. "Bye bye!"
   Then she ran down the steps.
   She had said, _Is everything okay between you and Madoka-san?_ And I
   had answered, _Well, you know how it is. Things could be better_. It's
   only natural that she would look a little upset after hearing that.
   Not having realized this yet, I said, "Bye bye!" and thought to myself
   how warm and friendly her smile was.
   I watched her as she disappeared among the trees that lined the
   street. I'm sorry, Ayukawa, I thought to myself. Kyosuke Kasuga,
   nineteen years old. I had to admit, I once again found myself
   attracted to this older, more grown-up Hikaru-chan.
   But a few minutes later, something happened which made kept me from
   thinking of Hikaru-chan. I overheard the following statement from my
   evil friends from high school, Komatsu and Hatta: "And Kasuga, he's
   only twenty-two years old. Poor Ayukawa."
   
*****

    My bumping into Komatsu and Hatta was also by chance.
   After parting from Hikaru-chan, I decided to go to the station and buy
   a newspaper from a kiosk. I knew there wouldn't be anything in the
   paper about where the Kasuga family had moved to, but maybe reading it
   would give me a toe-hold into knowing more about this time period.
   "Oh, there goes one hot woman! You look delicious, baby!"
   I heard the voice through the crowd and stopped instantly.
   The kind of high-pitched voice that sticks out in your mind. A voice
   which could fire out pick-up lines at women in rapid succession, like
   a machine gun, even though they never amounted to anything. It was
   Komatsu Seiji. He had his sidekick Hatta with him, and was about to
   enter a bookstore that was in front of the station. The girl he had
   just described as "one hot woman" was putting up some kind of sign in
   front of the station.
   "Thank you, thank you," Komatsu said to the girl. "You really do your
   job well, you know that? I'm Komatsu, the manager."
   Having said this, he entered the bookstore, acting like someone
   important.
   What the hell is going on?
   Komatsu was talking with the owner of the book store, acting like they
   were pals. This book store is famous for people standing around and
   reading all the books without buying them, and I had seen those two
   getting chased away several times by the old man. Why are they here
   now?
   The riddle was solved immediately. I looked at the sign the girl had
   been putting up. It said, "In celebration of the debut as a
   stand-alone comic of Weekly Shonen Jumbo's manga _I'll let you do
   anything_ there will be a signing by the author, Kazuya Hatta."
   My heart wouldn't stop beating. In just three years, Hatta had become
   the number one selling manga artist in Japan. And judging from the
   title of the manga, his personality hadn't changed any. Looking
   through the stack of mangas next to the sign, I could tell they were
   for sex perverts, with lots of girls who could be either junior high
   school or high school students wearing cute, suggestive sailor suits.
   So that's why Komatsu and Hatta are wearing suits and ties and acting
   so haughty.
   Komatsu's voice: "Okay now, Hatta, do you understand? You're the one
   the fans want to see."
   "Okay," Hatta said.
   "When they come, sign the boys' books and get rid of them as fast as
   you can. But only the ones who buy the comic. I'll shoe away anyone
   who tries to get you to give your autograph without buying a copy."
   "Okay."
   "But there'll be young girls in line for an autograph, too. Be sure to
   say, please give your phone number to my manager."
   "Manager? Who's the manager?"
   "I am, you fool!"
   "Oh."
   "We're going to tell the girls we're recruiting for a special fan
   club."
   "A fan club?" Hatta said. "Why?"
   "Well, it'll really be a sex club, of course."
   I can't believe those two. They haven't changed a bit.
   But I was a little envious of Hatta. It must be great to be able to
   turn your hobby into such a good living.
   Komatsu continued, "I do wish Kasuga was here, though. All this just
   isn't the same without him."
   I was taken back for a moment. I didn't know Komatsu had such warmth
   in him. But then their stupid conversation ended. When I heard what
   Hatta said next, my heart stopped.
   "Yeah, I know. Kasuga, he's still only twenty-two. Poor Ayukawa."
   "Yeah. He's in the next world by now, I'll bet. It makes you feel like
   crying, doesn't it?"
   What the hell? What did they mean?
   I'm only twenty-two? Poor Ayukawa? Someone tell me what's going on!
   Their conversation kept rolling around in my head. Did I die back in
   the world of three years ago? I couldn't stop myself from confronting
   them any longer. If I was dead, then what did I have to lose? I
   started towards them. But just as I did so, a herd of Hatta's fans who
   was being led by one of the book store employees appeared, gathering
   around the two. I was pushed back by the crowd.
   "Wow, can you believe how many people there are, Hatta?" Komatsu said.
   "Yeah. Don't push me."
   "But wait a minute, Hatta. I can't see any young girls in the crowd."
   "Yeah. Actually, if you think about it, it is a manga for sex perverts
   and _otakus_. I can't imagine girls reading it."
   Komatsu got angry. "Well, I'm getting out of here, then. I'm going to
   go hit on the girl in the book store."
   "Wait a minute, Komatsu!"
   
   It was a bit of a shock. I guess I did die back in that hospital room,
   three years ago.
   I continued to be pushed back by Hatta's fans, until I found myself
   back at the footbridge where I had said goodbye to Hikaru-chan a short
   time earlier. Looking past the crowd, Komatsu and Hatta were nowhere
   to be seen. I had lost the energy to fight the crowd any further.
   But at the same time, I couldn't stand not knowing for sure.
   Well, in that case, I'll go to ward office. They'll show me the death
   certificate, if I ask them. If there isn't one, then I'm safe. If
   there is one... In any event, I have to make sure, one way or another.
   After hurrying to the ward office, I said to the old man at the
   information desk, "Excuse me, I'm looking for a certain person's death
   certificate."
   The old man, who had been drinking green tea, looked shocked for a
   moment. That was understandable. I must have looked like one of the
   Deva guardians (11) who stand outside Buddhist temples. That's how
   desperate I was to know the truth.
   He told me the department that handles death certificates was on the
   second floor. I thanked him and ran up the stairs.
   I've got to make sure! I've got to know! Did I die in that world of
   three years ago? And where is Ayukawa? What is she doing now if I'm
   dead?
   I need the truth.
   Even if...even if she's going out with someone else now.
   Ayukawa.
   She appeared before me, her face full of love. Pouting, now. I knew
   that face was something from my past, from three years ago. Now, in
   the present, I wonder how beautiful and grown-up she is. I'll bet
   she's got her own kind of seductive appeal now, different from
   Hikaru-chan's.
   My heart screamed, _I want to see Ayukawa!_
   I stopped short on the stairs.
   I don't know how much longer I've got til my soul disperses. But there
   was a science fiction movie I saw a long time ago, in which a man who
   had traveled from the past disappeared the moment he saw proof of his
   own death.
   If that's the case, then before that, I want to meet Ayukawa just
   once.
   I'm usually the kind of guy who can't make up his mind easily, but
   when it's something this important, I never hesitate. I turned on my
   heel and ran back down the stairs.
   As I ran out the entrance of the ward office, the sky was beginning to
   turn a faint shade of orange. A cool evening wind was ruffling through
   the town. I started off towards Ayukawa's house, feeling like a child
   who had been playing quietly by himself only to look up and find that
   all the other kids had gone home.
   
*****

    The Ayukawa mansion hadn't changed in three years.
   The ajisai--hydrangea--were in bloom along the path that goes to her
   front door. Just like three years ago. I had been here just a few days
   ago to pick up Ayukawa for school--well, a few days ago three years
   ago. Ayukawa often waters her flowers in the morning. That morning had
   been no different.
   "You're a lot like those flowers," I said to her. "That's why you get
   along so well with them." I had actually happened to learn a little
   about the flowers the night before.
   "What do you mean by that?"
   "Because hydrangea change their colors so often, they're also known as
   'the flower of seven changes.'"
   "Seven changes?" Ayukawa said.
   "Yes. In other words, they're _kimagure_, capricious or whimsical.
   Just like someone else I could name."
   She started to get angry. "That's not funny, Kasuga-kun."
   Kyosuke laughed. "I think I'll ask the flowers themselves."
   "Ask them what?"
   "Why do they suddenly get quiet and moody for no reason? The moment I
   think they're angry, they suddenly laugh. Why is that?"
   This time Ayukawa laughed. "You're making me sound like I'm just a
   spoiled brat."
   I kissed her. It was a slightly longer kiss than usual.
   Then I said, "Good morning, Ayukawa."
   I put my arms around my beautiful angel. I felt her breath against me.
   "What's wrong?"
   Instead of answering, she dug her fingernails into my chest. "Kyosuke,
   you used your super-abilities just now, didn't you?"
   "What? What are you talking about?"
   "It was too perfect."
   "What was?"
   "It just was. That kiss. And if I catch you reminiscing about it
   during class, I'll make you buy me lunch."
   "Ayukawa."
   This time, Ayukawa kissed me.
   Ayukawa.
   I repeated her name to myself, shaking my head to get myself back into
   reality. I don't have time to get caught up in memories of the past.
   I've got to concentrate!
   I jumped up onto the wall, being careful to avoid the flowers. If I
   walked along it, I knew I would get to the courtyard, where I could
   see into the living room. But when I got up onto the wall, I saw
   something I hadn't expected to see.
   The wall I was standing on is more than just a border separating
   Ayukawa's house from the one next door, but was also part of the roof
   to the garage. There were two cars parked there. One of them was
   familiar to me. It was a bright red Austin Mini that Ayukawa's parents
   had bought her when she was admitted to university.
   "That's great!" I had said when she told me about the car.
   "Not really," she had said. "They can't fool me. They've stuck me with
   watching the house while they were away for years, and this is all I
   get as a reward."
   The other car, that was the problem. It was a silver-grey BMW of a
   type I hadn't seen since three years ago. Ayukawa's parents spend the
   larger part of every year overseas performing, and while they're away,
   Ayukawa's sister and her husband drive her father's Mercedes.
   So whose car is this BMW?
   I felt my heart drop. Someone was paying a visit to Ayukawa at this
   moment. I didn't know if it was a man or a woman. No, it had to be a
   man. You have to face reality, Kyosuke. There's no way a woman would
   be driving a sleek BMW like that, is there?
   She's with a man. A man is here, with her.
   Trying to get a hold of myself, I slapped myself in the face with both
   hands. Making an intense face like those Deva guardians, I continued
   along the wall.
   That was when I heard the sound of a piano.
   Looking for a key to play in. The kind of sliding of the fingers up
   and down the keys that a person who had been familiar with a piano
   ever since childhood would make. Ayukawa used to do that every time,
   before she would play.
   It was Ayukawa. She was playing the piano.
   I had heard the song somewhere before. A strong opening. Then a
   sensual melody, like running up a hill. That's it, then comes the
   image of a calm, great sea.
   This song is _Kyosuke #1_!
   My depression left me immediately, and I reached my hand out to the
   branch of the white birch tree for support and peered into her living
   room. I couldn't see much more than the grand piano inside. But I
   could see fingers striking the keys. And long, black hair. It was
   Ayukawa. She was totally absorbed in her playing, with her head bent
   forward, so I couldn't see her face clearly. But I knew I was looking
   at Madoka Ayukawa, twenty-two years old.
   I was suddenly on the brink of tears. I wanted to rush to her side and
   spill out everything. I knew she'd help me. After all this time, she
   still plays the song she wrote for me, wasn't she?
   But wait a minute.
   I don't know _for sure_ that the title of that song is, in reality,
   _Kyosuke #1_.
   I did hear it in a dream. If that dream wasn't about the future, if it
   was just a normal dream... The title of the song might not be _Kyosuke
   #1_ at all.
   I felt confused again. But at that moment, I heard a voice which
   dispelled my confusion immediately.
   "Madoka!"
   It was a man's voice. A young man. That voice was saying to me: stay
   dead, Kyosuke.
   I don't mean to brag, but I'm not brash enough to call Ayukawa by her
   first name yet. Even though we're officially going out, we haven't
   gotten to that point in our relationship yet. Some might say that I'm
   unable to call her by her first name.
   On several occasions, I've thought that there was no reason to go on
   calling her "Ayukawa," but whenever I tried to it, I failed. I really
   was dying to be able to call her "Madoka," casually. And now, the
   young man coming up from behind Ayukawa had done so as if her first
   name meant nothing. I decided he must be the owner of the BMW.
   Then I looked more closely at the man.
   It was him!
   I knew who he was. More importantly, all of Japan knew who he was: the
   famous idol singer, Mitsuru Hayakawa!
   It appeared that he had graduated from a mere idol singer to a full-
   fledged pop star. He was wearing his long black hair behind him, tied
   into a pony tail, with an expensive-looking double-breasted suit, and
   an "aloha" shirt that seemed to say, I'm so famous I can get away with
   wearing outrageous clothes like this. No necktie. And a bright, shiny
   ring that somehow blended well with everything else.
   But why is Mitsuru Hayakawa at Ayukawa's house?
   Ayukawa and I met Mitsuru Hayakawa a while back. But he didn't go
   around calling her by her first name, at least, not three years ago.
   
   My first meeting with Mitsuru Hayakawa was two years ago. Which means
   five years ago, from this point in time. At that time, he was still
   just an up-and-coming idol. Hayakawa and I accidentally bumped our
   heads together, which caused us to exchange bodies. Changing bodies
   basically means swapping two minds completely. In our case, my
   personality changed places with Mitsuru Hayakawa's. Because Hayakawa
   is so popular with girls, I had a lot of adventures with the opposite
   sex using his body. At the same time, Hayakawa made some passes at
   Ayukawa, who naturally thought it was me. Well, to make a long story
   short, Ayukawa was unharmed, and in the end we were able to put it all
   behind us. But after that...
   Setting his sights for the musical genius Ayukawa had inherited from
   her musician parents, Hayakawa had kept in touch with her. But in the
   end she decided to go to college with me, and I thought he'd given up
   for a while.
   Once, when I asked Ayukawa about Hayakawa's attempts to recruit her
   into the music business, she said, "Kasuga-kun, I think you're jealous
   of him."
   "Of course I am!" I replied, raising my voice for once.
   Ayukawa seemed a little off balance to see me get flustered, and
   apologized: "I'm sorry, Kasuga-kun. I am."
   I looked into her eyes. They looked like the eyes of a scared little
   girl.
   
   But in the twenty-two year old Ayukawa of the present, I couldn't see
   any traces of such childishness. In Mitsuru Hayakawa's hand were two
   cans of beer. He put one on the piano, and she thanked him with her
   eyes, continuing to play. Hayakawa opened his beer and drank it in one
   gulp. Then he looked at Ayukawa and said, "Well? How's it going? Did
   you finish my song?"
   Ayukawa continued playing, ignoring him.
   "You still haven't gotten over him, I see."
   Who is he talked about? Me?
   "For God's sake, stop fucking around and forget about him."
   Angry, Ayukawa slammed her hands down on the keys. She glared at
   Hayakawa. He seemed used to those eyes, and he raised his hands in
   mock surrender.
   He continued. "You have to understand, I went to a lot of trouble to
   get the producer to let you write another song."
   "I didn't ask you to do it."
   Ayukawa stretched out her hand to take her beer, and cracked it open.
   "You really don't know the way things work in this business, do you."
   "I don't need to know how things work."
   Hayakawa got defensive. "Hey."
   As Ayukawa drank her beer, Hayakawa proceeded to tell her about "the
   business." This is basically what he said.
   Ayukawa had written several of the songs on Hayakawa's last album. One
   minor song happened to catch on, and became a big hit. The song was
   then chosen as the opening theme for a TV drama, and the name of
   Madoka Ayukawa, songwriter, spread like wildfire in the Japanese music
   industry.
   Hayakawa said, "Your sudden rise to the big time has been quite a
   Cinderella Story. Still, I hope I wasn't expecting too much, putting
   you in charge of writing my next single."
   He leaned over and, brushing up against Ayukawa,s shoulder, started to
   play a song on the piano.
   It was the song Ayukawa had just been playing. It was the song I hoped
   was called _Kyosuke #1_.
   "If you like, I can use this song instead."
   "What?"
   "It's a pretty good song. Kind of rougher than most of my recent
   stuff, but it's packed with your emotion, your 'shout.' It would be
   perfect for the climax of a concert."
   "Forget about it, okay? I didn't write this song for you."
   "I know."
   "There aren't even any lyrics."
   "I can write some."
   Mitsuru Hayakawa reached over and played part of the song, ad-libbing
   some words to fit the melody:
   "I love you. I love only you."
   I knew those words were what he wanted to say to Ayukawa right now.
   God damn you, Hayakawa!
   "Stop it!" Ayukawa pushed him away and got up from the piano.
   But Hayakawa just raised his hands again in apology, smiling. He
   hadn't meant to push her that far.
   Ayukawa bit back, "What happened to your girlfriend, anyway?"
   That's right. There was a girl named Shiori who had been with him from
   the beginning of his rise to fame, which he had kept separate from all
   his female groupies. When I changed bodies with Hayakawa, I came very
   close to spending a dangerous (?) night with her. Her face was cute,
   similar to Hikaru-chan's, but with a more sensual side to her as well.
   "Girlfriend?" Hayakawa said. "Which one?"
   "I thought so. Even though you graduated from idol to full-fledged pop
   singer, you still aren't capable of anything but using women for sex."
   Hayakawa said, "No, you're wrong."
   "What?"
   "I'm different, Madoka, but you can't see the truth."
   "The truth?"
   "That I, Mitsuru Hayakawa, am the only one who can save you."
   "Get out!"
   "I'm leaving. But if you ever decide you're ready to change the title
   of that song, give me a call. You'll never be able to write songs if
   you don't forget him. Kyosuke would agree with me."
   At that moment, I nearly lost my grip on the tree branch.
   I knew it! The song Ayukawa had been playing was my song. The title is
   almost definitely _Kyosuke #1_. Ayukawa must have written it for me at
   some point in the past.
   Ayukawa refused to look in Hayakawa's direction. She stared at the
   piano keyboard, her mouth a tight line, unmoving. Hayakawa made a
   gesture of shooting an imaginary gun in her direction as a gesture of
   goodbye, then left the room. The moment he closed the door, Ayukawa
   burst into tears, which fell onto the piano keys.
   Suddenly, everything started to go black.
   Except for Hikaru-chan, who had moved to Hokkaido, and from there went
   straight to New York City, everyone seemed to know of my death. I
   really must be dead. The courtyard of the Ayukawa mansion was turning
   bright orange as the sun moved lower and lower. The most beautiful
   moment of sunset. After this, the darkness of night will come.
   For Ayukawa, a long, sad night.
   I made up my mind.
   If the situation were reversed, even if Ayukawa were a ghost, I would
   want her to appear before me. Even if I couldn't reach out and hold
   her, I would want to be with her, for whatever short time we were
   allowed. I decided to go to her, and ease her sorrow as much as I
   could. I jumped from the wall to the tree branch, preparing to jump
   down to the living room window. But as I jumped to the tree, I felt a
   strange dizziness, like when you stand up too quickly. Then I looked
   in horror as my hand started turned transparent before my eyes. But
   not just my hand. Now my whole body was starting to disappear. It was
   time for me to fade away for good. If that's my destiny, then I'll
   accept it. But to die without even being able to say one word to
   Ayukawa! That's too much!
   Please God, give me just enough time to say one word. Just one word,
   any word!
   I gathered all my strength and jumped from the tree to Ayukawa's
   living room window.
   Ayukawa!
   But my body had already started to disappear, and I fell "through" the
   wall to her house. I was suddenly unable to see or hear or feel
   anything.
   
*****

    It can't be Kyosuke?
   Madoka Ayukawa looked up, sure that she had just heard Kyosuke's voice
   calling her. Through the open window, she could see the white birch,
   painted orange by the setting sun. The voice seemed to have come from
   that direction.
   Madoka got up from the piano where she had been sitting and picked up
   her beer. A pleasant evening wind spilled in through the open window.
   As if pulled by that warm breeze, she went to the window. The tears in
   her eyes dried out.
   There was no one at the window.
   Madoka managed a sad smile. As she drank more of the warm beer, she
   said to herself:
   Kyosuke Kasuga. You're a superman, right? So use your magic, and come
   back to me.
   _Come back to me!_
   After receiving word that Kyosuke had turned up missing, Madoka had
   immediately tried to catch a plane to where he was. But there was no
   room for women in Bosnia. Her parents, who happened to be performing
   in Eastern Europe, told her to wait in Japan until she had more
   information. But for ten days no, there had been no word.
   Madoka continued to stare lazily at the orange-colored garden. The
   wind, which had been pleasant a moment ago, now annoyed her.
   Ever since she had been a child, Madoka had been mistrustful of things
   that gave her pleasure. The reason for this was, whenever her parents
   would return to Japan, she would be happy, but she knew that they
   would leave, and she would be alone again. She knew, too, that the
   warm evening wind meant that the lonely night was not far off.
   In the slowly-darkening garden, Madoka's sobs sounded once again.
   
   Back at her hotel, Hikaru had just gotten out of the shower when her
   attention was captured by the picture on the TV. It was the news on
   the war in Bosnia. News of the ongoing chaos there could be seen in
   New York. But the news in New York hadn't reported the story of a
   Japanese photographer who had disappeared.
   There must be some kind of mistake.
   She slid down onto her knees in shock.
   It was senpai. Kasuga-senpai. Whereabouts, unknown.
   But,...
   "Who was the Kasuga-senpai I met today?"
   Hikaru reached out for the telephone. As long as she lived, she would
   never forget Madoka's phone number. Hikaru pushed the button to get an
   external line, and felt a chill on her just-showered body.
   
PART III

    "Kasuga-kun!" Madoka shouted at Kyosuke's body, which was being
   wheeled away. "Kasuga-kun! Don't give up!"
   Kyosuke was experiencing the last stage of agony. The doctor had
   decided to move him to the emergency treatment room.
   "Oniichan! Keep fighting!"
   Manami and Kurumi followed the stretcher, followed by the
   grandparents. Down the hallway was the treatment room.
   Half insane, Madoka clung to Kyosuke. "You're not going to die, right?
   Your body's still warm. You'll be okay, right? Live, okay? Live! Do
   you hear me? Kyosuke!"
   Then, _bashi! bashi! bashi!_ Madoka slapped Kyosuke's cheek.
   "What do you think you're doing?"
   The doctor grabbed Madoka's hands. But Madoka pulled away from him,
   and kissed Kyosuke hard, as if she wanted to cover his whole body with
   hers. Everyone standing around was surprised by the force of her
   action, and moved back.
   That was all Madoka Ayukawa could do for him.
   Some nurses wheeled Kyosuke's stretcher into the treatment room.
   Madoka stayed outside. But at that moment, Kyosuke's wandering soul
   was receiving some kind of power from Madoka. Kyosuke's grandfather
   picked up on that energy.
   "Madoka-kun, you did well. It seems that Kyosuke has heard your
   voice."
   Madoka said, "What?"
   Manami said, "What do you mean, Ojiichan?"
   "Kyosuke's soul, trapped in the future, seems to have regained some
   energy."
   "R-really?"
   "Ojiichan, how do you know that?" Kazuya wanted to know.
   Grandfather said, "It's not that I can see Kyosuke's spirit directly
   from this point in time. But when Madoka-kun kissed Kyosuke's body,
   now in the treatment room, I felt that his spirit was filled with the
   memory of the joy of living, which had almost been forgotten."
   Madoka: "The joy of living?"
   Grandfather nodded deeply.
   Grandmother put in: "In other words, Madoka-chan, your feeling towards
   Kyosuke have given him courage, even at the brink of death. The flesh
   communicated those feelings to his soul, trapped in the future."
   "That's right," Ojiichan said. "If Kyosuke's spirit can borrow power
   from the Kyosuke of three years into the future, then..."
   "Oniichan can come back to us."
   "Probably. That's if Kyosuke's flesh can hang on til that time."
   Madoka stared blankly at the door to the emergency treatment room.
   
*****

    "Ouch!"
   I realized I was back in my body just as my head hit the ground. I was
   lying in the same place I had ended up the first time. The bottom of
   those long steps where I first met Ayukawa. There was a newspaper
   discarded by the side of the road. A glance at it told me it was still
   July 23, 1994, three years into my future.
   I didn't know what happened to me, but it seemed that this point in
   space acted as some kind of inter-dimensional doorway for me. It also
   seemed that my spirit hadn't faded away just yet.
   That thought didn't make me any happier. The current situation was
   still the same as it was. I finally find out the truth about myself in
   this world of the future, but now I haven't a clue about what I should
   do next.
   The sun which had painted the Ayukawa mansion's courtyard bright
   orange had set about thirty minutes ago. I was seized with the desire
   to run to Ayukawa's side immediately, but now I asked myself, did I
   really have the right to appear in front of her like this? I was
   suddenly uneasy.
   I wandered away from the steps, towards some shops. The bright lights
   of the stores hurt my eyes. I felt like the light was penetrating into
   the center of me, and the feeling was unpleasant. Then, as I was
   passing in front of an electronics store, I stopped in shock.
   In the store window, many new electronic gadgets that hadn't existed
   three years ago were on display. But what had stopped me in my tracks
   wasn't electronics. My picture was on the TV. It was then that I first
   learned that, in this time, I was a missing person.
   So this is was had really happened to me!
   
*****

    "Thank you very much. Next, please."
   The cold voice of the director echoed off the ceiling of the studio.
   The dancers who were waiting to audition all let out a sigh of relief.
   Only Hikaru Hiyama remained stiff, as if she were thinking hard about
   something.
   "Hey, Hikaru, what's the matter? Are you okay?"
   Shuri Anzai looked at Hikaru's face. Compared to Hikaru's large eyes,
   her eyes were narrow, more Asian-looking. Those eyes now looked at
   Hikaru.
   "What?" Hikaru said, then laughed. "Jeez, Shuri, do I really look so
   strange?"
   "Yes, there's something wrong with you. The Hikaru I know would be
   making a bigger fuss about the audition, running around saying, oh my
   God, I'm on in a few minutes, that kind of thing."
   "Hold on a sec. Acting happy now doesn't change the fact that I'm
   going to be a heartbroken woman by tonight, my dreams in pieces on the
   floor, after I fail this audition. Would you be able to be so jovial
   under those conditions?"
   "I guess not."
   "Jeez, some people expect so much." Hikaru laughed again.
   Hikaru had met Shuri in a Japanese restaurant in the East Village when
   she had first started her dancing lessons. Shuri had come to New York
   with the same dream as Hikaru, but when she exhausted her financial
   resources, she had gotten a job as a waitress in the restaurant.
   She had a body that had no problem competing with American women, and
   the Asian flavor of her catlike eyes gave her a slightly different
   appeal than Hikaru. The past winter, when her visa period had expired,
   she returned temporarily to Japan. When she heard about the audition,
   she had told Hikaru about it immediately.
   "Stop worrying about me, Shuri. Aren't you up next?" Hikaru nudged
   Shuri towards the stage.
   Shuri was the kind of person who never stopped worrying about her
   friends. Hikaru didn't want to lie to her. The truth was, Hikaru had
   rather a lot on her mind.
   Back at the hotel, she had tried to call Madoka after seeing Kyosuke
   on the news, but in the end she had changed her mind. She knew she had
   met Kyosuke that afternoon. They had only talked for a short time, but
   their conversation had been pleasant. She had to admit to herself
   that, somewhere deep inside her, she had felt the fire of emotion
   re-light for Kyosuke, who she had been trying so hard to forget.
   Then to hear him say, after asking about him and Madoka-san: "Well,
   you know how it is. Things could be better."
   Hikaru had felt awful after hearing those words. She had been through
   so much pain; it had been so hard to give Kyosuke up. But then to be
   told, "Things could be better," when she asked how he was getting on
   with Madoka... Well, hadn't it all been for nothing?
   Hikaru had thought this way at first, but then she reconsidered.
   Kyosuke had done nothing more than opened his heart to Hikaru and
   spoke honestly. From the beginning, the three of them had had that
   kind of genuine friendship, and Kyosuke, suddenly meeting an old
   friend, had inadvertently spoken his true feelings.
   Hikaru thought that some kind of obstacle must have come between
   Madoka and Kyosuke. That Kyosuke had become missing in Bosnia at least
   temporarily was fact. But he was actually alive, and was going to
   great pains to conceal that fact from others. Why? There could be only
   one reason. He wanted to avoid Madoka Ayukawa.
   That must be it! But why? Is he cheating on her with some other girl?
   He can't face her for some reason? Maybe he forced some woman overseas
   to marry him. Or maybe he gave up his Japanese citizenship! That could
   have happened!
   Ever since she was a child, Hikaru had a tendency to get carried away
   when thinking about a problem. This was one of those times.
   In any event, she had tried to called Madoka back at the hotel, but
   thoughts like these had made her replace the receiver in the end.
   "Hikaru, I'll see you after my audition." It was Shuri now.
   "What?"
   "I'm up. Didn't you hear them call my name?"
   Shuri put all her nervousness inside her and smiled at Hikaru, then
   went out onto the stage.
   "Shuri, good luck!" Hikaru called after her, but her voice was lost in
   the music on the stage. A famous wide-show host on TV all the time was
   introducing Shuri over the speakers. The TV network that was
   sponsoring the production was also recording the audition session for
   a documentary about dancers. Participants in the dance audition would
   all have their faces on TV.
   Her turn approaching, Hikaru wrapped her arms around herself in an
   effort to get a grip on herself. When she did so, she unconsciously
   touched a small doll sewn into her leotard. It was similar to those
   "Troll" dolls, and she gripped it now. Whenever she got nervous at a
   dance lesson back in New York, she would hold the doll in her hand,
   getting strength from it.
   I can do this!
   --I can do this!
   She chanted the words like an incantation. They aided her whenever she
   had a problem back in America, the ultimate land of "individualism"
   and "do-it-yourself-ism."
   You can do it, Hikaru! I know you can!
   The troll sewn into her leotard had been a present from Madoka
   Ayukawa. Hikaru had received it right after she got to New York. Soon
   after Hikaru transferred to the high school in Hokkaido, she started
   sending postcards to her friend. The problem of Kyosuke still existed
   between the two women, but Madoka had been like an older sister to her
   forever. Ever since Hikaru had been a child, she had been a crybaby,
   and had followed Madoka around everywhere. No matter what had happened
   with Kyosuke, her feelings for her "big sister" could never really
   change.
   But still, something kept her from talking with her directly. So she
   had sent postcards. She wrote about unimportant things, and never
   talked about what was going on between Madoka and Kyosuke.
   Madoka guessed Hikaru's feelings, so instead of sending a reply
   letter, she had sent little trinkets. First there was the Troll-like
   doll good-luck charm, then a hand-made hat, and finally some pressed,
   dried flowers that Madoka had grown herself. Hikaru hadn't asked for
   any gifts, but receiving them gave her a warm feeling.
   They didn't need to talk face to face. It was enough for each to know
   that the other was thinking about her, keeping the warmth alive.
   Hikaru had sworn to herself that, when she had become grown-up enough
   to talk about what had happened with Madoka as one woman to another,
   she would go see her.
   But it was hard. Just coming to this audition had been a pretty big
   step for Hikaru. Hikaru knew about Madoka's becoming an up-and-coming
   songwriter. Japanese living in New York loan videotapes of current
   "trendy dramas" to each other quite often. She knew about the song
   Madoka had written becoming a big hit in Japan. Hikaru immediately
   wrote a postcard congratulating her friend. She didn't write about the
   audition or her planned return to Japan.
   "Hikaru Hiyama-san!"
   The announcer's voice reverberated from the speaker.
   "_Hai!_"
   Startled at her own voice, Hikaru walked out on stage. Shuri Anzai was
   walking off-stage to the applause of the audience, her face flushed.
   She was smiling. She had done her best. Hikaru raised one spread hand
   and said, "Give me five, Shuri!" Slap! Shuri hit her open palm against
   Hikaru's, in a gesture of good luck.
   As if pulled by the music that suddenly overflowed from the speakers,
   Hikaru leaped out into the bright lights.
   
   In the stands with the other judges sat Mitsuru Hayakawa.
   "That girl!"
   Unconsciously, Hayakawa leaned forward in his seat to get a better
   look at the girl who had come onto stage. He had seen her before. She
   had been just a girl then, but the person dancing on stage was a ripe,
   mature woman now. Quickly, Hayakawa's mind began checking his memory
   like a computer for the file on the girl.
   
   "Hey, you! Wait a minute! Hiyama! Hikaru Hiyama!"
   Hayakawa's voice echoed towards Hikaru, headed backstage. But she
   didn't stop.
   A phone! I've got to find a phone!
   I knew I should have called Madoka-san earlier!
   Hikaru had just finished her audition. It had started with a dancing,
   then singing, and finally a brief demonstration of her acting ability.
   After her eyes had become accustomed to the bright lights, Hikaru had
   noticed Mitsuru Hayakawa, watching her from the audience.
   Back in high school, Hikaru had appeared on a TV show called "Talent
   Scout Caravan" along with Madoka and Kyosuke's sisters. Hayakawa had
   been on the show as a special-guest. Hikaru never had a chance to talk
   directly with Hayakawa, but she knew that Kyosuke and Madoka had had
   some kind of trouble with him. Hikaru had no problem with that, but
   seeing him looking down on her from the stands suddenly brought back
   memories of Kyosuke and Madoka.
   I don't know what really went on with Hayakawa and Kyosuke. But
   Kasuga- senpai is really alive. He's reported in the news as being
   missing. I can't believe he's hiding from Madoka-san like that.
   I hate him!
   Hikaru had tried not to think about Kyosuke during the audition
   itself, but it was no use. No matter how hard she tried, the faces of
   Kyosuke, who she had met that afternoon, and Madoka, worried over
   Kyosuke's safety, floated in front of her. After her audition was
   finished, she threw on a jacket and went in search of a payphone. They
   were all in use. People who had come to audition, wanting to call
   their families or their managers, were waiting in lines to use the
   phones. Outside the studio, she finally found an open phone.
   But Madoka wasn't home.
   Through the receiver, Hikaru heard Madoka's voice for the first time
   in three years. It was her answering machine. Hikaru was full of
   memories, and her heart quivered with emotion. She realized that she
   really loved Madoka after all.
   But when the recording ended with a beep, she hung up without saying
   anything. It wasn't the kind of thing you leave on someone's answering
   machine. Hikaru decided to walk around the memory-filled town without
   going back to the hotel.
   
*****

    A red straw hat. A red straw hat.
   Ayukawa's red straw hat.
   This is where we first met--God, that sounds corny.
   I balled up the newspaper I had been reading and threw it in a trash
   can. I was at the park at the top of the hundred-or-ninety-nine steps.
   I was sitting on a swing. On the society page of the newspaper was an
   article with a giant headline: _Japanese photographer, missing for
   several days_.
   Don't make such a big deal about it. I won't be able to go anywhere
   around here without standing out to strangers if my picture's going to
   be pasted everywhere. To say nothing of showing up at Ayukawa's house.
   The Kyosuke Kasuga of the present turns up missing just as I show up
   from the past. It has to be a joke, right?
   I started myself swinging. I had been on these swings with Ayukawa
   many times. Back when Ayukawa was going to study abroad in America at
   her parents' urging, we had come here.
   "So are you going to America or what?" I had said, trying to sound
   tough.
   "I have to. You and me; we're still children, really. We have to do
   what our parents tell us to every once in a while."
   Ayukawa had said this, then smiled in that grown-up way of hers. She
   had ended up staying here, and we had become closer and closer after
   that. You often hear that you don't realize how important people are
   to you until you lose them. Just like me, now.
   Everyone I know is gone. Ayukawa, Komatsu and Hatta, my family, even
   Master. This is all so new to me. I never imagined that not being able
   to see the people you love could be this hard.
   The wind picked up. It was July, but it wasn't really summer yet. It
   would get cool tonight.
   "Okay!" I said to myself, jumping off the swing. I started down the
   steps I had just climbed, counting to myself: "Ichi, ni,..." I was
   going to check how many there really were, once and for all.
   Then, from below me, a voice: "Ichi, ni, san,..." I looked up to see a
   girl, coming under the light.
   "I didn't know your hobbies included counting steps, Kasuga-fsenpai."
   "Hikaru-chan!"
   "What's wrong, senpai?" she teased. "You look like you've seen a
   ghost."
   "Um, sorry, I..."
   "I knew you'd be here."
   "How did you know?"
   "Everyone else always takes the long way to avoid having to climb
   these stairs, but for some reason, you always seemed to like them. And
   here you were."
   "Is that so?"
   "Yes, it is," Hikaru-chan answered, suddenly acting like her old self.
   "You haven't really changed in three years," I said.
   "That's not true! I'm twenty now, you know. Are you saying I haven't
   become woman at all?"
   "Well, that's not what I meant."
   That isn't what I had meant. You're so pretty, I wouldn't know you if
   I saw you in a crowd. Like a beacon of light to a lonely man, lost in
   the sea. To tell the truth, I was so happy I could cry, talking to
   her.
   "Kasuga-senpai."
   "Hm?"
   "Can I ask you a private question?"
   "What? What's wrong?"
   I was shaking a little. But Hikaru-chan looked straight at me, and I
   knew I couldn't lie to her. Sensing my resignation, she said, "Senpai,
   why are you running away from Madoka-san, pretending to be dead?"
   
*****

    Hikaru-chan's hotel, on Aoyama Dori, was what is known as a "city
   hotel," kind of small but elegant. We had decided to go to dinner.
   "Well, let's go the hotel I'm staying at," Hikaru had said. "I heard
   there's a beautiful restaurant on the top floor, but I haven't been
   there yet. If it's really as nice as they say, then who would want to
   go there alone?"
   I wasn't hungry, and wondered if my soul from three years in the past
   was biologically capable of hunger, but when she asked that question
   of me, I could only say, "Well, let's go to dinner and talk about it."
   Luckily, I had had the money for my summer study session in my pocket
   at the time of the accident. I'm sure even Ojiichan wouldn't know why
   that money was with me now. But I was ready to spend it all tonight on
   Hikaru-chan.
   "Senpai, what wine shall we have? Do you prefer dry or sweet wines?"
   Sitting down next to a window that overlooked Aoyama Dori, Hikaru-chan
   had immediately reached for the wine list.
   "Um, I don't have a preference. Which do you usually drink?"
   Hikaru-chan started naming white wines, most of which I had never
   heard of. This was something that the Hikaru-chan of three years ago
   would not have been able to do.
   Of course! Now that I think about it, she is a year older than me. I'm
   at a ritzy hotel, about to eat dinner with a sexy, older woman.
   "Well, how about this one?" she said to the waiter, after I had been
   unable to decide the wine. She really had grown up, hadn't she? No
   doubt it was as a result of her hard life in New York. She had really
   come a long way. I suddenly became aware of how childish I must look
   to her.
   "What's wrong, senpai? You're acting like a body without a soul."
   My eyes went wide at that. "Did you say soul?" A middle-aged couple
   sitting beside us glared at me. Hikaru-chan shushed me.
   "Sorry. I was vegging out for a second," I said.
   "You seem kind of tired today. If you don't want to answer my
   question, you don't have to."
   "Ah yes, your question."
   Hikaru continued. "You and Madoka are adults, after all. I just...I
   just..."
   "Hikaru-chan?"
   The words were getting caught in her throat. I held eyes with her for
   a moment, and she forced a smile. The kind of cute smile you see in
   American movies.
   "I just want to see the two of you get along together. That's all."
   Just then, the waiter brought the wine, served in a bucket of ice.
   "That looks good," she said.
   I pretended not to notice the sadness in her face.
   
*****

    "_Kampai!_"
   Hikaru touched her glass to Kyosuke's, then took a long drink of the
   chilled wine. Her throat had been parched. She realized she hadn't had
   anything to drink since before the audition, when she had had some
   mineral water. And now she was running off at the mouth with Kyosuke.
   _I want to see the two of you get along together_. What a stupid thing
   to say. It's like I'm admitting what bad luck I had had with men when
   I was in New York or something.
   She drained the glass.
   "You're incredible, Hikaru-chan. I guess you can hold your liquor."
   "Hm? No, no, I'm just thirsty, that's all. Besides, in America people
   drink beer and wine in place of water."
   "Really? The water in Tokyo has gotten really bad recently. I hear
   it's worse in America, though."
   "It is. And what's worse, the price of beer or wine or mineral water
   isn't that different from Japan."
   "Well, then I guess you should buy wine instead of mineral water,"
   Kyosuke said and laughed, refilling her glass. As he did so, she
   looked at his face. He really hadn't changed in the slightest in three
   years. Same sweet mouth. Same warm eyes. A completely different person
   than Sugizawa-san.
   In the end, Hikaru hadn't bothered to call Sugizawa back. He had been
   the first man she had been with, but that was all he was. Even if she
   were to see him again, she knew nothing would ever come of it. After
   she had broken up with Sugizawa, Hikaru had slept with two men. One
   had been an Italian-American who was taking dance lessons with her.
   The other had been a Japanese art student she had met in a caf in the
   Village. Both of them had been different types of men, but both had
   had many interests in common with Hikaru. She had enjoyed being with
   both of them.
   She had realized that they hadn't been "steadies," but just someone to
   spend time in bed with. She saw them from time to time back in New
   York. Sometimes she would sleep with them, sometimes she wouldn't. The
   relationships were important to both her and the two men.
   But now, her dear friend Kyosuke was here, and she felt strangely sad
   about the changes in herself over the past three years. But Kyosuke
   hadn't changed at all. No matter what kind of men she would meet in
   the future. No matter how grown-up and sexy she made herself up to
   look in front of them. To Hikaru, Kyosuke Kasuga would always be
   different.
   Kyosuke and Hikaru were still reminiscing about the old days when the
   food and more wine came. Their conversation touched on the subject of
   Madoka from time to time, but for the most part, they avoided talking
   about her. It was surprisingly easy, because the two of them had been
   bound by deep friendship for a long time.
   Some time later, "dinner time" at the restraint gave way to "bar
   time." The lights were dimmed, and the candles places at each table
   illuminated their slightly reddened faces. Kyosuke and Hikaru had been
   laughing about the past up til now, but they suddenly grew silent.
   Piano music had begun to play, and they were embarrassed at laughing
   so loudly.
   That was the beginning of it.
   The two of them went from two friends, laughing and talking about the
   past, to seeing each other as adults of consenting age.
   
*****

    I knew it.
   I shouldn't have gone.
   Madoka turned on the lights and looked around the room. She had been
   invited to dinner by her sister and her husband, and had just gotten
   home. They had been concerned about her because she was losing weight,
   worrying about Kyosuke. They had shown up that night and half-dragged
   Madoka out the door. Her sister's children had been glad to see her,
   and the table had been filled with her favorite foods. But no matter
   how hard she tried, Madoka hadn't been able to lift her spirits.
   Madoka ate the food her sister had prepared for her as quickly as she
   could, then caught a taxi home, turning down her brother-in-law's
   insistent offers to take her home himself.
   She should have been nicer to her sister's family. Or better, she
   should have turned down their invitation more firmly in the first
   place. Madoka picked up a box of Salem cigarettes that she had thrown
   on the couch earlier, and took one out and lit it.
   She took a drag of the cigarette.
   She noticed a light blinking on the telephone. Someone had called
   while she had been out. She sucked again at the Salem, as if trying to
   smoke all it in one breath. She held the smoke in her lungs for a
   moment, then blew it all out.
   Ever since she had been notified that Kyosuke had disappeared, the
   sound of the phone ringing terrified her. Madoka discarded the
   cigarette butt, smoked down to the filter, in an empty can. She
   listened to the message.
   There had been three calls. But the person had hung up without leaving
   any messages. She ran her long, black hair through her fingers,
   sinking into the couch. She took another Salem out of the pack.
   The phone rang.
   She immediately thought to herself: what time is it in Bosnia?
   "Hello?"
   The voice on the other end dispelled her anxiety immediately.
   "It's me. I was drinking, and suddenly wanted to hear your voice."
   It was Mitsuru Hayakawa.
   "Use your stupid lines on some other woman. I'm hanging up now."
   "No wait, don't hang up. I was kidding. No, there's something I have
   to tell you."
   "I haven't done anything with your song since this afternoon. Tell
   your friends in 'the business,' if they don't like it, they can drop
   me."
   "No, it's not about that. I met a close friend of yours today."
   "A close friend?"
   "Yeah, you know, the girl from high school."
   "You're not talking about Hikaru, are you?"
   "Yeah, that's her. Entry number 65, Hikaru Hiyama. Currently residing
   in New York, attending Actor's Studio College."
   "What are you talking about? Hikaru is in New York now, but--"
   "She's back in Japan. I had a feeling you didn't know she was back.
   She's here for an audition."
   "An audition?"
   "I told you about it a while ago, remember? My agent is taking part in
   producing a musical, and I was chosen to be one of the judges. Anyway,
   she came to the audition today."
   Madoka sat up, interested now. She displayed the postcards she had
   gotten from Hikaru. Counting the ones from Hokkaido, there were quite
   a few. The most recent one, a postcard from Phantom of the Opera, had
   arrived a month ago. In it, Hikaru had written her congratulations on
   Madoka's becoming a hit songwriter, and complained about how hard it
   was for poor people like her to buy theater tickets in New York.
   Madoka had sent Hikaru a cassette tape of the music to Phantom of the
   Opera, which she had arranged and played herself on the piano.
   "Madoka, are you listening?"
   "Sorry. So where is Hikaru now?"
   "She's in that new hotel on Aoyama Dori, I think it's called the
   Kingdom Hotel. I'm here with her."
   "You're a liar."
   Hayakawa just laughed.
   "I'm just kidding. That part comes later."
   "Go ahead and try it. Just remember, Hikaru doesn't look that strong,
   but I'm the one who taught her how to kick the asses of scumbags like
   you."
   "I'm sorry, come on. Although, she really has gotten sexy in the last
   three years."
   Hayakawa continued talking about Hikaru, but Ayukawa listened only
   halfway, then hung up. She dialed directory assistance and asked for
   the number of the Kingdom Hotel. Madoka was sure Hikaru didn't know
   about Kyosuke's disappearance. If Hikaru had known, Madoka was certain
   she would have called. Madoka had considered writing to Hikaru in New
   York with the news. But she had changed her mind, not wanting to
   burden Hikaru with her problems. But if Hikaru is in Tokyo, things
   were different. The only one who could bring Madoka's spirits out of
   the shadows at a time like this was Hikaru.
   "Hello, Kingdom Hotel."
   A pleasant woman's voice answered the phone. Madoka gave the name of
   Hikaru Hiyama, and was connected to her room. The phone rang again and
   again. After a time it reverted back to the front desk.
   "Miss Hiyama doesn't seem to be in her room," said the woman. "She
   just picked up her room key, so I'd imagine she's in the hotel's
   restaurant bar with her guest."
   "Her guest?"
   "Yes. Um, are you a friend of Miss Hiyama's?"
   "Yes, I am."
   "Shall I transfer your call to the restaurant?"
   "Was she with a man?"
   "Yes, she was."
   Madoka was suddenly hit by women's intuition.
   Hikaru was with a man. He was probably a boyfriend from Hokkaido. If
   that was the case, it wouldn't be nice to show up and talk about
   Kyosuke with her.
   "Hello? Shall I connect you to the restaurant?"
   Madoka hung up.
   And felt somehow relieved. She didn't know what kind of man Hikaru was
   with, but the thought of Hikaru enjoying a quiet evening with a male
   friend was somehow good news to her. Madoka realized she was thirsty,
   and went into the kitchen. She took a beer out of the refrigerator and
   opened it. Coolness spread down her throat. She thought of Hikaru, and
   for a moment was able to forget her own situation and smile.
   
*****

    "Kasuga-senpai, are you okay?"
   Hikaru-chan was calling me. She seemed far away from me.
   No, that's not right. She's right beside me. The smell of her was
   assaulting me, making my head spin. No, wait a minute. She's not
   _beside me_, she's _holding me in her arms_, calling my name.
   Where am I? Am I a ghost? I took a look around me, and saw that I was
   in her hotel room. On the sofa next to the bed were several pieces of
   women's clothing.
   "Are you okay? Hang on a minute, I'll bring you some water."
   Hikaru dropped me on the bed. Or maybe she laid me down gently--I
   couldn't tell which.
   So this is Hikaru-chan's room.
   I shook my head groggily, trying desperately to remember what had
   happened up to that point. I think I paid the bill back at the
   restaurant. She showed her room key to the waiter and said, "Please
   charge it to my room," but I don't care if she's older than me, the
   man should pay. I told her, let me pay! I think that's what happened.
   But my memory gave out on me after that. How did I get to Hikaru's
   room? The room into which Hikaru-chan had disappeared into was a
   bathroom. I heard the sound of water running through the door.
   Hikaru-chan's taking a shower! That's really not a good idea,
   Hikaru-chan.
   I tried to sit up, but I felt as if my clothes had been sewn to the
   bed. My body wouldn't respond to my brain's commands.
   I've got to get home. But where is home? I have nowhere to go. I've
   got to get out of this room, in any event. That much I can be sure of.
   I tried once more to get up, and this time I managed to turn over onto
   my stomach. But it was then I noticed something strange. Kyosuke
   Kasuga, nineteen years old--I was supposedly just a soul, but I was
   experiencing pain now.
   The part of me which proves I'm a man (you know, _down there_) was
   bearing my full weight. That part of me had become sexually excited,
   and, well... Even though I was trying my best to do the right thing,
   to leave the room, my thing had 'stood up.'
   Ayukawa.
   I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me.
   At that point, I reached my limit, and my mental soliloquy came to an
   end. I imagined Hikaru-chan's nude body in the shower, then saw
   Ayukawa's angry face, then Hikaru-chan again, then Ayukawa. Then, like
   a giant wave hitting me at once, I entered a world of pure white.
   
*****

    "Senpai, I'm sorry for making you wait. Here's your water."
   Hikaru came out of the bathroom, holding a cup of water. Then she
   noticed he was lying on his stomach.
   "Are you okay, senpai? Where does it hurt? I was filling the bath with
   water for you just now."
   Hikaru kneeled on the bed, shaking Kyosuke gently. He was sleeping
   soundly.
   "Don't go to sleep here," Hikaru said. "It's a bad idea, really."
   Hikaru didn't know what to do.
   This is a problem.
   Definitely a problem.
   Back at the restaurant on the top floor of the hotel, Kyosuke had
   passed out right after taking care of the check. He had drank too
   much. Hikaru had asked a waiter to help bring him to her hotel room,
   intending to let him rest for a while on the couch before going home.
   But now he was in her bed sleeping, and his face was innocent and
   peaceful. Hikaru had thought earlier that Kyosuke hadn't changed at
   all in three years, but looking at him now, she was unable to believe
   that he was twenty-two years old. This was the Japanese photographer
   who had flown into war-torn Eastern Europe with just a camera?
   Back at the restaurant, Hikaru had asked several times about his trip
   to Bosnia and his disappearance. But every time he had avoided the
   question. Kyosuke was, after all, a very indecisive type of person who
   never said things clearly.
   Hikaru knew this aspect of his personality very well. She also
   realized that a man who was relaxing and talking about the past with
   an old friend might not want to dig up such vivid and unpleasant
   memories. Hikaru decided to stop asking about Bosnia and concentrate
   on talking about their happy past.
   But there were many things that Hikaru didn't want to remember about
   that past. In the last three years she had worked hard to put those
   bitter memories behind her. She had found at some point that she had
   grown up during it all.
   Being an adult wasn't necessarily all good, either.
   Before, Hikaru had always been a straightforward and trusting person,
   but now she was different. Now she always thought things like, "Is
   this person telling me the truth?" and "How far can I trust this
   person?"
   This was because she had had many experiences with lovers or a friends
   who hadn't responded to her feelings as much as she had expected, or
   who had actually betrayed her in the end. Many people she had met
   changed completely whenever it suited them. Because of this, she had
   been hurt many times.
   But now, lying in her bed, was a man who was totally unlike the people
   she had met in the past.
   He's not my enemy.
   He doesn't want to play the stupid games that adults have to play.
   But I couldn't...I couldn't do that.
   "Kasuga-senpai. Please wake up," she said, before finally realizing
   that her voice wasn't enough to rouse him.
   Just then, Kyosuke turned over in bed. Timing it just right, Hikaru
   covered Kyosuke wth the sheet. She went to turn off the water, nearly
   overflowing in the bathtub, then took off her T-shirt and spats and
   got in the bathtub.
   The hot water mixed with the warmth from the wind, and felt good
   against her body. Hikaru was not so naive that she didn't know what
   was going to happen between Kyosuke and her tonight. Nor was it true
   that she hadn't considered what pain both she and Madoka Ayukawa would
   have to suffer after Hikaru crossed that line with Kyosuke. As if to
   wave all that away, Hikaru submerged her head in the bath water
   completely. She decided not to think about it anymore. Not thinking
   about the problem was the best solution at a time like this.
   When Hikaru came out of the bathroom, Kyosuke was still sleeping
   soundly. She put on her pajamas and slid into bed beside Kyosuke. When
   she did so, she remembered the body smells of the men she had slept
   with in the past, but she shook her head, just a little, to shake the
   memories off. She could hear the sound of the air conditioner running.
   Hikaru was in the habit of taking hot showers, then getting into cool
   sheets. It created a pleasant sensation against her body. But when she
   stretched her legs out into the fresh sheets, she moved to touch
   Kyosuke.
   Just then, Kyosuke said: "Ayukawa."
   A name that Hikaru had been trying desperately to forget suddenly
   jumped up in her memory. She reached out to the side table and turned
   out the light. The room became completely dark. The sound of the air
   conditioner and the never-ending parade of cars on Aoyama Dori reached
   Hikaru's ears. Seeming to completely cover those sounds was the sound
   of Kyosuke's breathing.
   Hikaru smiled to herself.
   This is not my apartment in New York. This is Tokyo, where I was born
   and raised. And this is where some people who are very special to me
   live.
   Hikaru wondered why it had taken til now for her to feel like she had
   come "home," and sometime later, she was pulled into a deep sleep.
   
*****

    When I opened my eyes, I knew immediately that I was really in heaven
   this time. Lying on a fluffy cloud. Bathing in gentle rays of light.
   And beside me, breathing deeply in sleep, was a nymph. I guess I
   really am dead this time.
   Wait a minute. A nymph? Not an angel?
   Reality returned to me in the next second. I'm sure I turned white.
   The person I thought was a nymph was really Hikaru-chan. She was
   wearing cute pajamas, and was sleeping with her body resting against
   mine.
   What's going on, Kyosuke? Why is Hikaru-chan sleeping in the same bed
   as you? Does that mean I...well, does it mean I did it with her?
   That's not good.
   I was a virgin.
   And what about Ayukawa? I was supposed to do it with her.
   I had gone from heaven to hell in one minute. An idea occurred to me.
   I reached my hand down to the lower half of my body. I was wearing my
   pants. But that didn't necessarily mean I was out of the woods.
   Thinking I should check all parts of my body, I started to lower my
   zipper. If that part of me was wet, well, it would be a big problem.
   But then my luck turned bad. Down on Aoyama Dori a truck blew its horn
   loudly. Hikaru-chan's large eyes fluttered open.
   "Ah, Hikaru-chan," I said.
   "Good morning, senpai."
   "Good morning."
   "I didn't know you were awake."
   Hikaru-chan looked as if she was still half in whatever dream she had
   been having. I had my hands on my zipper. No matter how half-awake she
   was, it looked suspicious.
   "What are you doing? What's wrong, senpai?"
   I laughed nervously. "It's gets itchy down here sometimes."
   She rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "Gimmie a break. Men are all the
   same." She laughed, then suddenly she looked at me with solemn eyes.
   They seemed to tease me.
   "Senpai."
   "What."
   "Do you remember last night? You talked in your sleep."
   "What!?"
   "You kept saying 'Ayukawa, Ayukawa!'"
   "No, I didn't."
   "Yes, you did."
   Hikaru-chan laughed again.
   "Cut it out, Hikaru-chan! I'm sure I didn't say her name!"
   "But suppose you did say her name. And suppose, as a result of that, a
   certain beautiful girl decided she hated you. What would you do?"
   "Huh? Well, I guess then I would have been my loss."
   "Your loss, huh?" she asked.
   "Um, well, it's not actually a matter of losing or gaining something,"
   I said.
   What am I saying?!
   Suddenly Hikaru-chan said, "Senpai! You can stop worrying. Nothing
   happened between us last night." She showed me a wide smile. The
   morning sun was shining on her face just then, and it was the
   prettiest smile I'd ever seen. I knew that I could never do anything
   to hurt her.
   Just then, a sixth sense came out of nowhere and hit me.
   .......Hikaru-chan wasn't a virgin.
   Next to the pillow, the phone rang.
   Hikaru-chan threw the sheet off and answered it. It was the front
   desk, telling her she had a phone call from outside the hotel. I
   thought it wouldn't be polite to eavesdrop on her conversation, and
   moved into the bathroom.
   
*****

    "Hello?" said the voice at the other end of the receiver.
   It wasn't Sugizawa. Hikaru was immediately relieved.
   "It's me, Hayakawa. Mitsuru Hayakawa."
   "Huh? Oh, I'm sorry. I remember now. I'm sorry about yesterday."
   "It's been a long time since I've been brushed off like that. It made
   me kind of nostalgic for the old days."
   "So I guess you have to thank me," Hikaru said.
   Hikaru continued the conversation, but she was thinking about Kyosuke,
   who had disappeared into the bathroom. She didn't particularly want
   him to see her like this, talking casually with a man. Then she heard
   the sound of Kyosuke using the shower. She relaxed a little, then
   said, "And why has the famous and popular Mitsuru Hayakawa seen fit to
   call someone like me?"
   "Has Madoka called you yet?"
   "Madoka-san?"
   "Yeah, you know, Madoka Ayukawa. Has she called you yet? I told her
   about seeing you at the audition. She's writing my new single, so I
   talk with her quite a bit."
   Idly, Hikaru recalled that the hit song which Madoka-san had written
   had been sung by Mitsuru Hayakawa. Hikaru had been going to call
   Madoka as soon as she heard the results of the audition. She hadn't
   planned on Hayakawa telling Madoka that she was in Japan for her, and
   was actually a little angry at him.
   "So how is Madoka-san?"
   "She's fine, except for worrying about Kyosuke. You know about him,
   right?"
   "Yes, I know," she said. "She's taking it well. At least, her defenses
   are strong. As usual."
   Hayakawa laughed as if he had said something funny.
   Hikaru was worried about Madoka. She still hadn't managed to find out
   why Kyosuke was hiding from Madoka. Madoka was worrying herself to
   death over Kyosuke, yet Hikaru had just spent a dangerous night with
   him. Hikaru felt she had done something terrible.
   "Um, about yesterday's audition," Hayakawa was saying.
   Hikaru's ears perked up. The results of the audition were to be
   announced this afternoon. There were two positions for leading roles
   and three for lesser parts. Those five dancers would undergo extremely
   hard dance lessons until the fall, at which time the number of roles
   available would be narrowed down to one leading and two minor parts.
   The people who weren't chosen for the final roles would never be able
   to step on a stage, unless an accident happened to the dancers who had
   been chosen.
   But Hikaru wasn't aiming for one of the minor roles. They were
   suitable only for taller dancers, like Shuri Anzai. She had to get one
   of the major roles, or nothing.
   Hayakawa was saying, "Anyway, I just received word from my agent. The
   results are out."
   "What? Already?" Hikaru felt herself tense up. The tone of Hayakawa's
   voice told her to fear the worst.
   "I'm sorry, but you weren't picked."
   "I see."
   "You were good, though. Really good. I voted for you."
   "Thank you."
   "Anyway, I was thinking, will you be in Tokyo a while longer?"
   "Why?"
   "I'm sort of friends with the author of the play. I was
   thinking...well, if I ask him, maybe he could add a part for you."
   "He could what?"
   "Yeah, it's done all the time in this business."
   "Yes, but..."
   "If it's alright with you, maybe we could have lunch today and talk
   about it."
   It couldn't possibly be that easy, Hikaru thought to herself. But she
   was also aware of the fact that, in this world, nothing was more
   important than connections. Hikaru heard herself talking to Hayakawa,
   but one thing was bothering her.
   "Um, Hayakawa-san."
   "Mm?"
   "Does Madoka-san know about any of this?"
   Hayakawa lost some of his composure as the mention of Madoka's name.
   "Madoka? This is what she said to me. She said, 'Hikaru doesn't look
   that strong, but remember I'm the one who taught her how to kick the
   asses of scumbags like you.'"
   He laughed again.
   To Hayakawa, he had told an innocent joke. But Hikaru was sure she
   sensed Madoka's influence in Hayakawa's generous offer. Hikaru was
   sure that Madoka had asked him to make a special part in the play for
   her. And that was a favor that Hikaru absolutely could not accept.
   "Hayakawa-san."
   "So what time should I pick you up? What do you want to eat?"
   "I'm sorry, but I have to decline your offer."
   "Huh? What are you talking about?"
   "Please say thank you to Madoka-san for me. Tell her, when the time
   comes that I can call her, I will."
   "Well, I'll tell her. But don't you want to just--"
   "Thank you very much for calling. Goodbye!"
   Hikaru hung up the phone with Hayakawa in the middle of a word. Just
   then Kyosuke, having finished his shower, opened the bathroom door. He
   had obviously been waiting for her to finish her phone call. That
   thoughtful quality was one of the things she loved about Kyosuke.
   "I'm out of the shower," he said.
   "Thanks," she replied, then suddenly stood up on the bed. She began
   jumping on the bed like a child.
   "Um, Hikaru-chan?"
   Hikaru continued jumping. "Senpai, I'm going back to New York
   tonight."
   "What?"
   "I knew I'd want to return to New York right away if I failed the
   audition. My return ticket was set for today."
   "You failed? You failed the audition?"
   "But it was fun!" she said. "But really dangerous, too. We almost did
   something we would have regretted last night, didn't we?"
   Hikaru suddenly jumped onto the floor, making a sound like an airplane
   crashing: "_Kyuuun!_" Then she ran past Kyosuke into the bathroom.
   "H-Hikaru-chan," Kyosuke said, but the bathroom door slid shut with a
   bang. The sound of the shower came on again. Kyosuke realized now that
   he had lingered too long with her. The warmth that being with her
   brought had distracted him. Kyosuke knocked on the bathroom door.
   "Hikaru-chan!"
   Hikaru turned the water pressure down and said, "What?"
   "I'm going to go now."
   "Okay."
   "Hikaru-chan, thanks for yesterday. It was really fun."
   "Me too. I was lucky to have bumped into you again. I mean that."
   "Thanks."
   Kyosuke realized that Hikaru was waiting to hear what he was going to
   say next, from the other side of the door. It was his intention to say
   goodbye then leave immediately. He knew that if he didn't go right
   away, it would be impossible to leave her. He also sensed that Hikaru,
   a woman now, was struggling with some new burden. But Kyosuke found
   that, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't tell her _sayonara_.
   "Hikaru-chan, I'll see you later."
   "Bye!"
   Hikaru paused a moment as if to check if Kyosuke had really gone, then
   turned the water pressure in the shower back up. As if driven away by
   the sound of the shower, Kyosuke left the room. Just as he closed the
   door, the phone in Hikaru's room rang again.
   
*****

    After that, I decided to head back to my own neighborhood. I had
   nowhere else to go. I felt as if my tired body was searching for
   somewhere to rest. But I wasn't actually tired. It was sort of a
   painful feeling. As if being with happy, bright Hikaru-chan made me
   feel dim by comparison. I needed to rest for a while.
   On my way down the stairs from the train station, I noticed a crowd of
   people in front of the electronics store across from the bus terminal.
   In the front window was a sign which read, "Our Local Hero!" The owner
   of the shop had put it up, along with a large TV set showing news.
   What the hell's going on?
   Having nothing better to do, I went towards the store. When I did so,
   I heard a voice say, "Hey look, it's Kasuga!" The high-pitched voice
   belonged to Komatsu.
   I thought about running away, but Komatsu and Hatta, stepping out of a
   ramen shop, were coming towards the electronics shop at high speed.
   "Excuse us, we're Kasuga Kyosuke's close personal friends."
   "Let us through. Hey, wait a minute, you're kind of cute."
   They waded through the crowd to the front of the TV.
   Is there something about me on the news?
   I peered at the television in between the people. My twenty-two year
   old face was on the screen. The newscaster was reading the news story
   excitedly.
   "...We repeat, international news agencies received reports late last
   night that student-photographer Kyosuke Kasuga has been found
   uninjured by the United Nations peacekeeping forces. Confirmation of
   the reports has been slow in coming, so the official announcement has
   been held back til a few minutes ago. Kasuga-kun has been en route to
   Japan via a UN special plane for several hours and will be arriving at
   Narita shortly."
   The people gathered around the television let out a cheer. I felt
   embarrassed, but at the same time something welled up inside of me.
   I was alive!
   I had been alive these past three years! Which meant that I survived
   the accident three years ago!
   Now the screen was showing an army of news reporters converging on
   Narita. Ayukawa's probably with them. My twenty-two year old self was
   coming home. Suddenly in a big hurry, I ran back up the stairs to the
   train station.
   
   Narita International Airport was, as the TV had shown, in a total
   uproar. The lobby where the passengers and crew from the UN jet would
   be arriving was closed off to everyone except reporters and airport
   personnel. Being careful to avoid the eyes of the guards, I slipped
   under the rope which led to the lobby. The crowd of reporters was
   positioned outside the flight gate, poised to capture on film the
   conquering hero as he came through the gate. Beyond the reporters was
   a group of people who looked like airport officials. I pulled the
   "Apollo" cap I had just bought tightly over my face and walked towards
   the group of officials. Among them were two young girls giving
   interviews to reporters. It took me a few seconds to realize that they
   were Kurumi and Manami! Standing next to them, his hair slightly
   graying in the front, was my father. The Master of ABCB was even
   there.
   Where have they been all this time?
   I started walking towards them more quickly. But just then, the
   reporters let out a roar as the gate was opened, and I was carried
   away by the wave of people. I bumped into countless people. No one
   could tell I wasn't one of the reporters. I struggled to move forward,
   even just a little.
   Just then, I noticed a pair of eyes looking straight at me. It was
   Ayukawa. Twenty-two year old Ayukawa was starting straight at me.
   Ayukawa!
   I pushed some people to one side, throwing my body forward. But she
   disappeared among the shoving people.
   Ayukawa! Ayukawa!
   I continued to move towards where she had been standing. When I
   finally managed to find her in the crowd again, I suddenly felt some
   kind of power take me, almost like telekinesis, and move me forward.
   Ayukawa was standing next to a man, larger than me, who had his arm
   around her waist. A million flash-bulbs went off around them. He was
   Kyosuke Kasuga, twenty-two years old. The power I was feeling was
   coming from him. I felt it run through my body, regenerating all the
   cells of my flesh.
   In that shower of flash bulbs, my twenty-two year old self was still
   embracing Ayukawa. But slowly, he turned towards me. He grinned in my
   direction, then sent me this telepathic message:
   _I've been waiting for you, Kyosuke. What took you so long?_
   Feeling somehow relieved, I nodded towards him.
   
*****

    The outside of the airport terminal was stained vermilion by the
   setting sun. The lobby which had been full of reporters an hour ago
   had finally quieted down. Tourists planning on starting their summer
   vacations early were standing in lines and filling out forms.
   "Summer vacation will be here in no time," my twenty-two year old self
   said, gazing at the sightseers-to-be. "This room will be so filled
   with travelers, there won't be a single place to stand. It'll be like
   a battlefield."
   The two Kyosukes had moved away from the family and Madoka, and were
   standing in a corridor that overlooked the departure lobby.
   "A battlefield, huh?" Kyosuke of three years ago said. "Tell me, why
   did you go to Bosnia, anyway?"
   "I'd like to ask you the same thing. Kyosuke, what the hell happened
   to you three years ago?"
   "It must have been the photo contest. You remember, we won the
   university photography competition. I guess you got carried away with
   all that glory and wanted to become a full-fledged photographer."
   "No, that's not it. It wasn't anything that immature. It was Madoka
   and Hikaru-chan that made me do it."
   "Ayukawa and Hikaru-chan?"
   "Yeah. They were trying so hard to make their own dreams come true. So
   I thought I ought to be doing something, too. I became a
   photographer."
   "And went to Bosnia?"
   "That started out as a coincidence. Once you get involved in something
   that big, it's hard to free yourself."
   "I guess life is like that."
   "Yes, it is. Looking through the camera's finder, you realize you have
   to see it through to the very end, do it right, or not do it at all."
   "Even to the point of going into a battlefield?"
   Twenty-two year old Kyosuke smiled sardonically and nodded. The
   younger Kyosuke couldn't help but be impressed.
   "Still, I don't know."
   "What?"
   "I just can't see myself going to Bosnia."
   "Kyosuke."
   "Mm?"
   "Even I don't know what's going to happen in the future. How can you?"
   "Yeah, right. I guess life is like that."
   "Yes, it is."
   The two men smiled. But suddenly the older Kyosuke tweaked the younger
   on the head and said, "So, Kyosuke, I'll bet you were too scared to
   have sex with Hikaru-chan. Am I right?"
   "Huh? Well, you know how it is." "You should be ashamed of yourself. I
   would have done it."
   "You what?"
   "I would definitely have been able to do it."
   "Really? But, what, what about Ayukawa?"
   "I would have made sure that she never found out."
   "It wouldn't have been as easy as that, I'm sure."
   "Hmm. Maybe you're right."
   "I know I am. She would have found out. I wouldn't want to be you if
   that happens."
   The two men laughed together.
   Twenty-two year old Kyosuke had been kidding about Hikaru, trying to
   act tough. He was three years older than the man across from him. But
   he knew deep down that if he had been with Hikaru that night, he
   wouldn't have been able to do anything, either.
   The reason wasn't fear of Madoka Ayukawa. If Kyosuke had crossed that
   line with Hikaru-chan, it would have caused problems between the two
   of them in the future. No, it had been the wrong time.
   "But this much I can say," he began. "Kyosuke Kasuga didn't do
   anything this time, this summer of 1994, but in the future, something
   may happen. It may begin again."
   "What?"
   "Did I say, may begin? That was wrong. It's already begun, the wheels
   are already set in motion between Hikaru-chan and me. All thanks to
   that dangerous night you spent with her."
   "But you're me, right? We both spend that night with her."
   "Oh, right."
   The two men chuckled, then suddenly got serious.
   Come to think of it, Hikaru-chan is supposed to return to New York
   today. She was probably somewhere in the departure lobby right now.
   Maybe they could see her from up here. The two Kyosukes were seized by
   the desire to run down the stairs and look for Hikaru. But they said
   in unison, "What the hell are we thinking about?" That stopped them.
   Trying to hide his own embarrassment, the older Kyosuke said, "She's a
   nice girl."
   "Yep. A nice girl, Hikaru-chan is."
   "Yeah."
   The older Kyosuke took a look at the digital watch on his suntanned
   arm. "Kyosuke, it's time for you to go. Madoka is waiting for you,
   back at the hospital."
   "Okay. But wait, how do I get back?"
   "In the past three years, I've gotten some new powers. I certainly can
   handle something simple like sending you back to the past. Didn't you
   feel your powers regenerate as soon as you saw me in the arrival
   lobby?" "Yeah, that's right."
   "It's all part of the enigma that is the Kasuga clan."
   "I wonder if someday I'll have really strong powers like Ojiichan."
   "I wonder, too. The powers I have aren't as useful as his, at least
   not so far."
   The two men laughed again.
   "Oh, that reminds me. Kyosuke, this is important. When you get back to
   the past, there's something you have to do."
   "What is it?"
   "You've got to call yourself the day before the accident. You'll have
   to get some help from Ojiichan for that."
   "Call myself?"
   Then the younger Kyosuke remembered the phone call that shattered his
   heavenly dream of being with Ayukawa. The person had told him,
   "Kyosuke! Watch out for cars!" and had had Kyosuke's own voice.
   "So the call I got yesterday morning was...?"
   "That's right. If you hadn't been told to be careful of cars, you
   might have died instantly in that accident."
   "I thought that phone call was just some crank, but I guess it was
   real."
   Kyosuke from the past felt somehow good about himself. Seeing how fate
   has a real hand in one's life will do that to you. But something was
   bothering the younger man. He decided to ask about it.
   "Um, Kyosuke."
   "Mm?"
   "When did you start calling Ayukawa by her first name?"
   The older Kyosuke thought a moment. "When was that? Let me see..."
   "You don't remember?"
   "So much has happened with her over the years. I can't remember every
   little detail. But I do remember _that_ time." The older Kyosuke
   grinned and looked at the younger man.
   "That time?"
   "You know, _that time_."
   "I don't know what you mean."
   "_That time_. The first time. It was the best!"
   "The best? You don't mean--"
   The younger Kyosuke wanted to ask more, but the older man put his hand
   over the younger man's mouth (12).
   "Don't ask too much. You'll find out when you get back."
   With his hand still over the younger Kyosuke's mouth, Kyosuke of the
   present moved them into the shade. His brow wrinkled up with deep
   concentration. A powerful energy seemed to appear, coming out of his
   upper torso region. That energy became an aura which moved to cover
   the younger Kyosuke's whole body.
   You'll find out when you get back.
   _If_ you get back.
   He said it was the best.
   _The best_.
   The Kyosuke from the past repeated the words of his older self over
   and over again, like a magic spell. But after he had repeated _the
   best_ a few times, he suddenly lost consciousness. His body vanished
   from the world of 1994.
   "Kyosuke! Is this where you've been?"
   Kyosuke of the present had just sent his younger self back to the
   past. Now he heard Madoka's voice behind him. She was running towards
   him, holding the hem of her slightly daring one-piece down. He laughed
   nervously, like a child caught doing something he shouldn't be doing.
   "What do you think you're doing, running out in the middle of a press
   conference like that?"
   "Um, there was something I had to do."
   "Something you had to do? That happens a lot with you. Just like when
   you first went to Bosnia."
   "Gimmie a break, Madoka."
   She laughed, and her voice was happy. But she suddenly grabbed him by
   the collar of his vest and pulled him close to her.
   "You're not hiding anything from me, are you?"
   "What?"
   "I saw him."
   "Saw who?"
   "A very young Kyosuke."
   "Really? That makes me happy."
   "Happy? Why?"
   "You were so worried about me that you even saw my ghost."
   "Why you!"
   Madoka moved to kick him, but he caught her right foot in mid-air. It
   had been a long time since he touched this leg. Under her stockings,
   her muscles had an almost explosive springiness to them. He put her
   leg down. "You shouldn't try things like that in a mini-skirt."
   "I don't care if people see."
   "Well I do. Those parts are very important to me, and I don't want
   anyone else looking at them but me."
   "That a fine thing to see after leaving me here while you go off to
   Bosnia for months."
   "I'm sorry. I'll apologize to you every day for just as many months."
   Laughing, Kyosuke put his arm around Madoka's waist, and pulled her
   near him. He put his face near her ear, close enough to smell her
   black hair, and whispered:
   "By the way, when did I stop calling you Ayukawa and start using your
   first name?"
   "Jesus, did you actually forget?"
   "Well, I..."
   "Until you remember, you can forget about you-know-what!"
   "What? Forget about what?"
   Looking a little embarrassed, Madoka pulled him closer, and said in a
   tiny voice, "You know, sex. _Baka!_"
   At that, Kyosuke finally remembered when he had started using Madoka's
   first name.
   
EPILOGUE

    Back at the hotel bar with the view of the Yokohama Bay Bridge. The
   jazz piano that I had heard in a dream once was playing softly in the
   background. Ayukawa and I had had dinner in Chinatown, had felt the
   wind on our faces from the Bay Bridge, and now were about to have our
   third _kampai_. Just as in my dream, Ayukawa was talking and laughing
   more than usual. There could only be one reason. Ayukawa was nervous.
   Our first time together was finally approaching.
   Ayukawa drank down her third drink and said, "Anyway, I'm really glad
   there were no after-effects from the accident."
   Those eyes, shockingly sexy. To avoid falling into them, I ordered her
   another drink.
   "Yes, but you never know. What if some show up in, say, three years?"
   "Stop it. Nothing like that is going to happen."
   "You never know, some after-effects might show up, and I might
   suddenly decide to go wander around some foreign country."
   "I'll just have to tie you up, then."
   Ayukawa laughed again. Then, "I'd like to propose a toast to
   Kasuga-kun's health. _Kampai!_"
   She touched her still-empty glass to mine.
   A month had passed since the accident. My body recovered normally, and
   by now I had stopped going back to the hospital everyday for
   treatment. Ayukawa and I re-made the hotel reservation that we had had
   to cancel once before, and now we were having our quiet celebration.
   It was all almost exactly like my dream of long ago. The atmosphere of
   the bar, the view of the Bay Bridge, and the black man playing the
   piano, were all in my dream. I guess it was a prophetic dream after
   all. But on the other hand, I feel somehow different.
   I still can't say for sure if my winning the university photography
   contest last month was what was responsible for my disappearance three
   years from now. My self of three years hence had said the same thing.
   All you can really say is that a person doesn't know where his life
   will eventually take him. That goes for Hikaru-chan, headed for New
   York in a year, as well as Ayukawa, destined to become an
   up-and-coming songwriter. They don't know what's going to happen to
   them. Not knowing, they're just doing their best to make their dreams
   come true, everyday. It's the same with everyone.
   "What's wrong, Kasuga-kun?"
   "Mm?"
   "You got so quiet all of the sudden. I guess you must've met some
   beautiful girl in the future, and were thinking about her just now."
   "I wasn't!"
   She laughed. But it was sort of a cold laugh that, to tell the truth,
   made me a little afraid. I hadn't told her much about my trip to the
   future. I told her about things like my family moving, and Hatta
   becoming a famous writer of sex comics, but I didn't touch subjects
   like what Ayukawa was doing in the future, or about meeting
   Hikaru-chan. Occasionally Ayukawa would ask about her future, but I
   would tell her, "I can't tell you. It's an esper family policy."
   Now Ayukawa said, "Okay, here's my present to Kasuga-kun, Part One."
   Ayukawa took the drink that had been bought for her and stood up. I
   knew she was going to play my song. I leaned forward, acting
   surprised.
   "Part One?"
   "I've written a song for my brave, self-confident Kasuga-kun."
   Ayukawa was a little tipsy. I cheered, "Yay, yay!"
   She hid the embarrassment she must have been feeling, and looked
   straight at me.
   "The title is _Kyosuke #1_."
   I knew it! That was the title! Ayukawa had written this song for me.
   When that forceful introduction began, I stopped thinking and
   concentrated on her song. I knew that we would be joined for the first
   time tonight. Her song was an passionate one, full of emotion. My
   throat was dry, so I drank down my frozen daiquiri in one gulp. An
   incredible heat spread out from my stomach. Just then, as if to
   announce the coming climax, a ship in the bay blew its whistle.
   
*****

    I had taken a shower and was lying in bed now. FEN (13) was playing
   softly, some old American strings piece. I had never heard it before,
   but, slightly intoxicated as I was, it created a very pleasant mood.
   Occasionally, ships in the bay blew their foghorns. The sounds blended
   with the music from the radio with perfect timing, almost like a jam
   session. But in reality, even though I was bathing in those dreamlike
   sounds, I was also hearing my heart beating nervously in my ears.
   I can hear the sound of Ayukawa's shower.
   I can hear the sound of her using soap and shampoo.
   The sound of her soft humming.
   _Kacha!_ Ayukawa opened the bathroom door. All sound suddenly left the
   room, as if erased by the sound of that door opening. I was frozen
   with fear just then. I sat up in the bed and looked at her.
   Ayukawa was standing in the light from the bathroom, a towel wrapped
   around her. Her long, black hair was tied up behind her, and her
   shoulders and neck seemed so beautiful, so milky-white, that they
   couldn't have been from this world.
   Ayukawa, I finally figured out who you really were.
   An angel in a T-shirt.
   "Don't stare like that, Kasuga-kun," she said, the light all around
   her. I must have been making an incredibly stupid face. But I was
   mesmerized by her.
   "Come on, stop it."
   I wasn't sure if that was the second or the third time she had asked
   me to stop staring. But now her voice brought me back to reality.
   "Ayukawa."
   "Turn them out, okay?"
   "What?"
   "The light, silly."
   I reached out my hand to turn the light out, but I overbalanced, and
   _bam!_ I knocked the light over.
   Damn! I'm such a klutz!
   Ayukawa couldn't control her laughter. "God, I can't believe you did
   that."
   I got out of bed and set the light upright again. But I was still in
   too much of a hurry, and I couldn't get it to stand upright.
   "Damn you, light!"
   I finally succeeded in turning the light out, and the room was
   instantly filled with darkness. Ayukawa must have turned the bathroom
   light out when I wasn't paying attention. Suddenly Ayukawa was behind
   me.
   "Ayukawa."
   I turned slowly towards her. In the darkness, I could see her body,
   wrapped in the white towel. The only light was what came in from the
   window, but I could see her clearly, as if her body were emitting some
   kind of luminescence.
   "I'll remember that you knocked that lamp over for the rest of my
   life." She looked at me and smiled. "But being clumsy is all part of
   the Kyosuke Kasuga I've come to love."
   "Gimmie a break!"
   We laughed like two children hiding from their parents in a secret
   place.
   Ayukawa made a serious face. "Kasuga-kun."
   "Mm?"
   "Will I give birth to esper children (14)?"
   "What?"
   I hurriedly reached out for the box of tissue. For years I'd been
   reading "sayonara my virginity" articles in boy's magazines, and it
   said that in some hotels they put condoms near the tissues.
   But: "It's not here!" I didn't mean to say it out loud.
   "'Not here'? What are you looking for?"
   "Huh? Well, I mean, you asked me if you were going to give birth to a
   baby with super powers. It's a little soon for that, if you know what
   I mean."
   "_Baka!_ Don't be so silly."
   "Eh?"
   "Tonight is a safe night."
   My eyes must have been little black points, with my mouth open like I
   wasn't getting enough oxygen.
   "I can't believe you, Kasuga-kun. I just asked if, someday, I would
   have esper children. I didn't mean tonight. You pervert!"
   Now Ayukawa bent over laughing. I don't know if she was laughing
   because of my clumsiness, or because of the alcohol in her body, but
   her gesture was incredibly beautiful. She seemed like a free bird. I
   reached over to her and took her head in my arms, then with strength
   that surprised even me I held her close to me.
   "K-Kasuga-kun."
   "Ayukawa."
   I was filled with a mysterious power, which surprised even me. It gave
   me the self-confidence to look straight into Ayukawa's eyes when I
   would normally have been trembling.
   "I feel strange," I told her. "Kind of like a caveman. I feel like I
   want to conquer you, to take you."
   "K-Kasuga-kun."
   "Don't get me wrong. I'm taking your feelings into account and
   everything. But I feel like I want to throw all that away and just
   take you. I love you, Ayukawa."
   "......"
   "Enough to cry. I love you so much, I can't stand it. I want you so
   much, I didn't know...didn't know I was such a barbarian. Oh,
   Ayukawa."
   Just then a ship in the distance blew its foghorn. I realized that a
   strings session was still playing on FEN. As if trying to calm the
   wildness that was welling up inside me, I tried to concentrate on the
   melody. But it was no use.
   Ayukawa, I've become like a child. A child that wants what's in front
   of him. Ayukawa was looking at me. Her eyes seemed distant. Those eyes
   were looking at me, but it was as if they were looking past me, at
   some far-off point.
   Ayukawa said, "It doesn't quite fit, does it?"
   "Doesn't fit? What doesn't fit?"
   "Calling me 'Ayukawa, Ayukawa' at a time like this."
   As if suddenly freed from some spell, I pulled Ayukawa's towel off by
   force. Acquiescing now, my angel let out a little noise in the
   darkness. I wouldn't be stopped. I furiously buried my face in the
   soft, milky- whiteness before me. Then, as if to justify my actions, I
   called her name again and again.
   _Madoka! Madoka!_
   So that's when I started calling Ayukawa by her first name!
   
*****

    The next day, Madoka received the first postcard from Hikaru-chan in
   Hokkaido. It was a postcard of the famous Tropistina Temple. Half of
   it was a Hikaru's self-portrait. Then, how are you? I'm sorry for not
   writing for so long--that sort of thing. At the end, she had written,
   "When I graduate from this high school, I plan to go to New York."
   When I read those words, I remembered something my twenty-two year old
   self had said, three years from now. Early summer. It was a summer,
   just like the summer where Madoka and Hikaru-chan and I had to stop
   being "three friends" and moved on. Will that dangerous triangle begin
   again?
   Was that spark provided by me, nineteen year old Kyosuke Kasuga?
   The summer of 1994.
   It felt just like that other summer, long ago.
   _That early summer of 1994._
   
Endnotes

    (1) If you care, Kyosuke and Ayukawa go to Waseda University, judging
   from shots of the college in the movie. I had an opportunity to study
   overseas in Japan at Waseda once, and if I'd known that the school was
   the Orange Road characters' alma mater I wouldn't have turned the
   chance down. Stupid me.
   (2) I'm only going to cover this once, so pay attention: _Oniichan_,
   older brother. _Oneechan_, older sister. _Ojiichan_, grandfather.
   _Obaachan_, grandmother. The first 'O' on all family relationships is
   to show respect, although it's optional with family members and really
   has no meaning. _Senpai_ is a term used to refer to upperclassmen by
   lowerclassmen.
   (3) Kurumi's approximation of a woman's aroused moaning.
   (4) PKO, "Peace-Keeping Operations," refers to Japan's sending of
   Self-Defense Forces on a UN-sponsored peace-keeping mission to
   Cambodia.
   (5) _Buru-sera_ comes from "bloomers, sailor-suits" and is the
   stupidest media-created sex craze to ever seize a nation. Basically,
   these shops buy dirty panties, sailor-suit high school uniforms, etc.,
   from junior high and high school girls, they sell them to sex
   perverts, while recruiting for soft- and hard-porn actresses along the
   way. There's a whole genre of "_buru-sera H videos_" that feature high
   school recruited in this manner. You can occasionally find these
   panties in (I'm not bullshitting you) vending machines. There's one
   near my house.
   (6) _Musuko_ means "son" and refers to a man's penis. _Musume_ means
   "daughter" and corresponds to the female's similar organ. Now you know
   some Japanese slang.
   (7) If you want people to think you're an educated Orange Roadie, you
   have to pronounce this "ah-ba-ka-bu."
   (8) Would someone please explain to me why neither of the kisses in
   the "six-years ago" episodes qualify as Kyosuke and Ayukawa's first
   kiss? What about the end of episode 48? We know from the reference to
   "the time" they all went to Ojiichan's house that the Orange Road
   movie does follows the series universe, as opposed to the manga
   universe, in which they go to Ojiichan's house two times.
   (9) If you're wondering why Ojiichan's name is Kasuga when presumably
   the name comes from Takeshi's side of the family, remember that the
   Japanese have a tradition , called _muko ni naru_, of the man taking
   his wife's last name and being adopted by his wife's family if her
   family has no sons. This must be what has happened.
   (10) For those of you who follow these things, except for "Kyosuke
   Kasuga, Tokyo" scrawled on a letter in the Hawaii manga story, this is
   the first concrete reference to where Orange Road takes place. Up til
   this time, "_kono machi_" ("this town") has been all we'd been told.
   (11) The guardians of Buddhist temples, such as the Toshogu in Nikko
   or Todaiji in Nara. These are fierce-looking statues carved out of
   wood with fierce, intense expressions.
   (12) Another incongruity. What happened to Ojiichan's warning that,
   when a person touches his body from another time, that person will
   disappear forever, as seen in episode 48?
   (13) FEN, the Far East Network, Armed Services Radio, "serving those
   who serve in Japan."
   (14) For Orange Road fans interested in knowing the answer to this
   question, checkout Seishun Shitemasu's fan-dub production, _Kimagure
   Orange Road: The Akira Story_, written and directed by yours truly.

</BODY>
</HTML>

