The $200 Laptop is Coming! ¶
"We are putting a deluxe laptop in the hands of every lucky child in the world!" — Ebenezer Scrooge, TLPC CEO
Picture courtesy of MassimoSantoro (sue him, sue him!)
A Laptop for the Elite ¶
The $200 laptop aims to create healthy free competition by providing better performance and more features
for those who can afford it.
the right laptop for your spoiled brats
now for just $400!
A $rich$ set of features ¶
Our first product, the XOXO, comes with:
- wide-screen 16" display, 2000 ANSI lumen for perfect visibility even in full sunlight
- dual-core SMP: AMD Geode + Intel ULV — no need to choose!
- dual-channel, Double Data Rate Corsair PC200 memory
- dual-keyboard with independent layouts: type both in US and JP at the same time! (PATENT PENDING IN NIGERIA)
- dual-flash RAID1 storage technology for improved data reliability!
- dual-boot with GRUB in the OS of your choice: preloaded with Ubloantu Linux and Windows EXbedded — NEW!
- Patented WI-FI Fonero technology: choose to be both a Bill and a Linus!
- UAC-CCS DRM and copy protection scheme for your Genuine Advantage!
- Giant triple-trackpad: simultaneously control up to 3 players in MMRPGs!
- Dual lead-acid hot-swappable battery packs for improved mileage!
- Dual firewall/webfilter: only access our PG-rated marketing web sites!
- Online library of downloadable politically correct, violence free, pointless video games!
- Automatically charge your credit card on every purchase made by your child!
Designed by the Department of Redundancy Department.
Smart Computer, Dumb Kid ¶
If you really love your kids, then you must buy them the best on the market!
Designed from the ground up for the children of rich consumer countries:
the laptop that grows along with your kids*.
With twice as many features, your children will learn twice as much!
Think about it, you know it's true!
[*] we'll make sure you will have to upgrade it every year!
Charity is for wimps! ¶
Join our original "GIVE 0, GET 2" program NOW!
See for yourself from this independent market analysis:
|You give||1 XO||0|
|You GET||1 XO||1 XOXO|
|Pay per view||na||charged on your card|
A glimpse into the future ¶
The TLPC Consortium is proud to unveil its UpcomingProducts roadmap,
with enhanced collaboration and document sharing features.
What others are saying ¶
I don't smoke nearly as much crack as I'm accused of
"When are we going to stop prototyping and start writing code for real?"
"The wisdom of allowing Java programs to mess with physical memory is not a topic which should need further discussion here."
— JonathanCorbet on the LWN Kernel Page
"They want me to be a whore!"
Visit our secret sponsor